


Odd

by twilipse



Series: The Alternate Universe [2]
Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-09-14 00:36:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 31,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16902759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilipse/pseuds/twilipse
Summary: Haseul hates Kim Lip.





	1. Part 1.0

**Author's Note:**

> A/N 1: I suck at naming so there you go, a nameless group.  
> A/N 2: Kim Lip? Jungeun? Let's just stick with Jungeun.  
> A/N 3: This is a huge mess fest but honestly I just want to get rid of this asap so yeah.  
> A/N 4: Will proofread later if I can find the time.

"Lippie! Wait up!" Haseul chases after the girl walking side by side with another one of their bandmate, Chaewon. She sees as the brunette halts her steps in an abrupt manner, she has a bad feeling about going through with this but Haseul really has no other choice left.

The way Kim Lip's (Haseul prefer her birthname Jungeun, but her company made Kim Lip/ Lip/ Lippie a norm for them that she can't escape it no more) shoulders rise up, only to go back down sharply goes to show just how much she wanted to avoid this. She eventually turns around to meet Haseul's eyes. "What is it?" Her voice is surprisingly calm but Haseul is well informed that Jungeun possesses a lot of venom behind her facade.

"Can we talk?" Haseul can see Chaewon looking at them back and forth, clearly has zero clue on what is going on between her and the girl. "Just us."

A crease appears on Jungeun's forehead for a split second and she looks away, seemingly to draw another sharp breath. "Chae, you go ahead. We'll follow suit." She scratches on her nose awkwardly.

Chaewon clicks her tongue. "Okay... but don't take too long. You guys know how Miss Bae is." She tilts her head towards the direction of the practice room. The blonde takes one last hard look at both the leader and her vice before disappearing behind the door.

"Spill." Jungeun is very actively avoiding her eyes, her gaze falls on the total opposite of Haseul.

Haseul clears her throat loudly. "Not here. Can we go somewhere--"

"Private?" The girl cuts Haseul off as if her patience is threading on a thin line. This time Jungeun doesn't bother to hide her burdened sigh. "Make it quick."

Haseul gives a timid nod before turning around to guide them into an empty practice room two doors away. It is so out of character for Haseul to have her head hung so low like this but no one can really blame her to regard the floor as the least intimidating thing to her right now. "About yesterday..." She trails off, unable to form a proper wording despite already having this rehearsed in her head for countless of times. That particular memory from less than 24 hours ago is still fresh at the back of her mind, haunting and taunting her that she legitimately had not even a wink of sleep last night.

"What about it?" Haseul can hear Jungeun tapping on the floor as if counting down every second that has gone by. It sounds a lot like a ticking time bomb to Haseul.

"That is not supposed to happen. I never planned to let it be known to anyone, especially not... you..." Haseul's voice loses its volume with every word.

"So you planned to continue on deceiving me forever?" Jungeun is quite known for her temperamental tendency and from the many years of knowing her, Haseul can say that she is accustomed to it, or maybe immuned to it too. But this time it is different, it carries more weight that sneaks pass the surface of personal level. Haseul fears the consequences that follow.

She shakes her furiously. "No, that's not how it is. I'm not trying to deceive anyone, Lippie. I'm aware that there's no other way but to keep it a secret." Haseul feels warmth creeping up her face which soon reaches the edge of her bottom eyelids. She holds it in for as much as she can. She can't break down now, not in front of Jungeun.

Jungeun stays mum, her eyes are closed rather tightly. Haseul wanted so bad to reach out and eases them but given the situation, that won't be the smartest idea. Soon enough, the girl turns her body to face Haseul directly. Her eyes  are wandering around the entire space, everywhere but Haseul. "It's better for us to keep our professionalism at max from now on. I'm sure you know that we can't afford to jeopardize the whole team." The monotone lacing Jungeun's voice is making it difficult for Haseul to depict the raw emotion behind it. She shows neither anger nor delight. It would be so much easier if Jungeun just lashed out at her instead.

"I... understand." The whisper barely escapes her dry lips. Haseul hugs on her own frame afterwards, feeling terribly vulnerable and exposed under Jungeun's sudden stare.

The tall brunette runs a hand through her messy locks before sighing once again. But this time it is more resolved from the previous ones. "Is that all?" When Haseul nods her head mutely, Jungeun turns around and reaches for the door knob. "I'll be needing time and space to myself." She glances over her shoulder. "And I wish not to talk about this again. You catch my drift."

Jungeun wants Haseul nowhere near her space, wants Haseul to waste none of her time. Haseul isn't sure if that is possible given their line of work but on top of all, Haseul never dreamt of a day where Jungeun will voluntarily set restrictions between them like this. Funny how yesterday Jungeun and her could cramp in her single bed together, snuggling with almost no care about private spaces whatsoever and now Haseul is told that she needs to put a distance between them because of a slip up that Haseul never wished to happen.

And with that, the door closes before her. Maybe it is just Haseul in her overly sensitive state, but the thud noise it produced sends her brain into different directions in her desperate attempt to read Jungeun.

One thing that she is sure for now, she has fucked up their friendship real bad.

 

\----------

 

A week ago, after three years into their successful career, they were informed of an arrangement for them to move into a brand new apartment. It is a lot more spacious and a lot more cosy for the band members to live in. So befitting for them to begin receiving better accommodations as time goes by.

In between busy practicing for their upcoming comeback and dodging her personal problem with you-know-who, Haseul miraculously managed to pack her belongings right on schedule. Jungeun is rooming with her in their current dorm, precisely since two years ago. All six members agreed to have the arrangement went by the order of their age. Being the two oldest among the girls, Haseul and Jungeun couldn't be anymore delighted for that. They hit it well right off the bat, growing closer as compared to their trainee days where some kind of weird tension created an invisible wall between them.

Jungeun shows no visible sign of discomfort whenever she is in the room but there's definitely drastic changes since their little ( _big_ ) confrontation. The Jungeun she knew would never fail to greet her in the morning while this one won't even spare a glance at Haseul's side of the bedroom, the Jungeun she knew would randomly climb onto Haseul's bed to share about foods and snacks she found online while this one will have her back against Haseul while scrolling through her phone all the time, the Jungeun she knew would never ever ignore Haseul's existence but this one won't acknowledge her unless she is prompted to do so.

The Jungeun she knew is no longer there and it is a fact that is way too painful for Haseul to live with. Nevertheless, she carries on like she is not affected at all.

Haseul is struggling to pull her luggage out of the elevator when Heejin comes to her rescue, giving the huge (it is half of Haseul's size) bag a push from the opposite direction. "Who's the genius that made you think it'd be a good idea to own luggages the same size as you?"

"My mom." Haseul grunts, she should have not keep too many things with her.

"Oh. No offense." Heejin grimaces.

Haseul is too exhausted to even laugh. "You called her genius so none taken."

"Can I ask you something?" Heejin pulls on the handle and it causes the luggage to stop moving abruptly.

The interruption annoys Haseul due to the fact that they are less than 50 metres away from their unit's door. But that is nothing compared to the offense she takes from Heejin being so much stronger than her. "Must you do it now? Can't you find a better timing?"

"This is _the_ perfect timing." Heejin drops her voice into a hush. "Are you and Lippie fighting?"

Haseul is forever thankful that she has schooled her expressions. She cocks an eyebrow at Heejin. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

"I might have a poor eyesight but I can see you guys not talking to each other lately." Heejin looks at her with a suspecting stare. "You guys don't even meet in the eyes."

The normal version of Haseul would lunge at Heejin in full speed and cry her eyes out regarding the whole ordeal. But _this_ Haseul is not going to let that happen anytime soon. "You think we are fighting because of that?" Haseul snickers. "Oh Heejin, you innocent soul." Haseul is proud of her acting talent.

"Duh? You and Lip can't go a day without each other, it legit gives me an eyesore." Heejin rolls her eyes. Haseul makes sure to swallow the lump forming in her throat in a subtle manner. "So of course I think of the worse when you two suddenly act like you don't exist to one another." 

Haseul laughs in fake absurdity. "The sky isn't always blue, Heekki." Her laugh subsides into a small hurtful smile. Heejin is too caught up in her little speculation to notice it. "There's nothing for you to be so concerned about okay?"

"So you guys are really fighting huh?" Heejin puts her chin on her hand. "Should I get to the bottom of this?"

"That's clearly not what I said." Haseul sighs. "We are fine. Just leave me and--" She  clears her throat. "Leave the matter to me."

She can tell that Heejin is totally dissatisfied with her answer. "You really want me to leave it to you?" Heejin asks, tilting her head to one side. Haseul nods at that lazily. "Alright, I'll leave  _this_ to you." She pats on the luggage twice before moving pass Haseul to get into the apartment.

Haseul's eyes immediately go wide. "Heejin!! Ugh!" She takes a couple of deep breath before resuming with the task at hand all by herself.

Haseul is half dying when she finally made it into the living room, where they temporarily gather all of their belongings in a complete mess. The idea of having to unpack these things again makes Haseul questions her life choices.

A few seconds later, she sees Hyunjin running from the direction of the kitchen with an annoyed Heejin chasing after her. "Girls! May I have your attention for a moment please!" Hyunjin's scream could cost them complaints from their neighbours and it is only their first day here.

But it definitely serves it purpose as the rest of her bandmates, Chaewon and Jiwoo, emerge from one of the bedrooms to join them. "This place is sooo huge!" Jiwoo opens her arms wide to depict her statement.

"We can play hide and seek and never be found forever." Chaewon adds which earns a confused look from her members.

Haseul scans around and spots Jungeun by the doorway, the girl is in the midst of arranging their shoes in a neat fashion (so typical of Jungeun). The brunette definitely takes her own sweet time to make her way towards the spacious room.

"You are as fast as a sleepy turtoise." Hyunjin makes a face at Jungeun.

The latter ignores it, she is more concerned at the current state of their living room. "You guys really can't put your junks in order." Jungeun exclaims in disbelief.

"Who cares." Hyunjin waves her off. "We have a more pressing matter at hand."

Haseul is suddenly restless, they are not going to discuss about her and Jungeun out in the open like this right?

"I say we switch up our room arrangement this time around." Hyunjin wiggles her eyebrows, a smile on her face like she had just come up with the most brilliant idea in the universe.

"Why fix something that isn't broken tho? I'm sure we are perfectly fine with the default ones. Am I right or am I right, Miss Leader?" Heejin looks at Haseul, clearly expecting her to back her up.

Haseul smiles awkwardly. "I dunno..." She swipes her tongue across her chapped lips. "Maybe you guys can consult with Lip instead." She simply says, not sparing a glance at the girl in question.

That effectively diverts their attention towards the tall brunette. The temperature in the room goes up a bit for Haseul, the younger girl might have given her a 'what the' look. She isn't sure, she just feels eyes on her. Haseul naturally joins in waiting for Jungeun's response. She is half expecting for Jungeun to reject the idea.

"Uh..." Jungeun is on her habit whenever she feels pressured, running her fingers through her hair. "I'm cool with it." She shrugs.

"Oh, come on!" A collective exclaims come from all over the place, Heejin and Jiwoo are especially loud.

"Lip agreeing with me? Everybody, the end is near." Hyunjin stares at the floor in confusion. "But hell yeah! Let's get it!"

Haseul tries her best to keep her front, although deep inside she feels a slight disappointment at Jungeun's choice. But what did she expect again? Of course Jungeun will take the opportunity to skip them from being roommates again.

"How are we going to do this?" Heejin asks, still very much unamused. She is bundled up in a backhug by Jiwoo who has a pout on her face.

"I got this." Hyunjin holds up an empty glass bottle of coke. "We play rock, paper, scissors and the winners get to spin first."

"That is  _so_ innovative." Jungeun comments sarcastically, folding her arms across her chest. "Let's get this done and over with." She sighs.

After a few rounds of tossing random signs of rock, paper and scissors, Haseul somehow get herself crowned as the first winner. She smirks at the outcome, taking the glass bottle of the floor and spins it around without second thought.  _Let's get this done and over with_ she says. The group watch as the bottle slowly loses its speed and eventually comes to a complete stop. They look up to see it pointing at Jungeun accurately, not missing an inch. Haseul's eyes about to pop up from their sockets, she can feel beads of sweat forming on her temples.  _What's the odd?_

"That's a void." Hyunjin casually says.

Heejin flails her arms around. "How so?!"

"We agree to get a new arrangement so it's obvious we can't get our former roommate." Hyunjin shrugs. "Plus, Haseul didn't say 'challenge'."

That somehow ticks Haseul off. "I wasn't aware of those rules!" She should be relieved that that spin is considered as invalid so why is she getting frustrated by it?

"Hyunjin is a scammer, we been knew." Chaewon chimes in, Heejin and Jiwoo nods in support.

Haseul can see Jungeun from the corner of her eyes, the girl remains emotionless in her place. Haseul lowkey wishes that she would say something about the situation. Has someone swapped Jungeun with a freaking android for her to be this uncaring? Jungeun's silence begins to annoy her and she doesn't even know why.

"Challenge!" Haseul relentlessly grabs the bottle again before spinning it with all her might. She stares at it in hope to send an additional force so that it could go flying and hit Jungeun square in the face.

Okay, maybe that's a bit too much. Violence is never the answer.

This time, the doomed bottle has it upper side pointing at the space in between Jungeun and Heejin. Hyunjin quickly gets up to inspect the angle. "Heejin is our lucky number one." She announces. "Jeon Heejin for vice leader!"

Haseul stares at the spot, she can't quite believe her eyes. The bottle barely landed in Heejin's direction, meaning that there was a 50-50 chances for her to pick Jungeun as her roommate for the second time in a row.

They rinse and repeat the steps afterwards. Soon enough, they managed to get to the final arrangements. Haseul gets Heejin, Jiwoo gets Hyunjin and Jungeun? Jungeun looks pretty content to have Chaewon as a roommate.

Haseul internally rolls her eyes. Jungeun is probably going to be happy with whoever she ends up with, just whoever but Jo Haseul. Not Haseul's lost though, Jungeun is not  _that_  great of a roommate.  _Hmph_.

Later that night, Haseul is struggling to get herself to sleep. She hasn't fully adjusted to the new environment which doesn't seem to be the case for Heejin. Haseul can hear her light snoring from across the room. After a few minutes of tossing her petite body all over the bed, Haseul finally gives up and heaves a sigh. She shuts her eyes in hope to drift to sleep but the image of a certain memory plays behind her eyelids instead.

_Crazy Rich Asians is playing on the screen with Jungeun lazy cacklings filling in both of Haseul's ears. Jungeun is using her upper arm as a makeshift pillow for the backside of her head, and despite Haseul's constant whining about Jungeun being a big-headed, in both literal and illiteral sense, Jungeun continues to ignore her and only gets more comfortable there._

_"You're falling asleep, aren't you?" She asks the girl._

_"I'm not..." She hears Jungeun stiffling a yawn. "... falling asleep."_

_Haseul gives up ten minutes into the movie and let Jungeun do whatever she wishes to do. Jungeun seems so fixated on the screen or maybe already asleep, she can't tell, that the buzz coming from Haseul's phone doesn't bother her in the slightest. Haseul has been trying to get her sister Yeojin to stop spam messaging her but it's not working out so she just entertains the kid with random replies. Haseul's bed is not that big, but for some reason sharing it with Jungeun never felt suffocating. Not even once. She actually enjoys lazing around with the younger girl like this._

_Haseul tries to hold it in but eventually reaches out to tap on the spacebar. "Time out. I need the bathroom." She squeaks out._

_"Really now? We're getting to the good part." Jungeun asks in annoyance._

_"Unless you really want me to wet the bed." Haseul quirks an eyebrow._

_Jungeun is smirking before pulling a disgusted look. "Don't care what you do with your bed but since I'm literally on it right now, fine go ahead." She pushes Haseul off the bed._

_It doesn't take Haseul that long to return to the room but the moment she steps into the space, she can feel the temperature dropped to a minus. Jungeun is sitting straight on her back, her eyes bore a hole all the way to the back of Haseul's head. Her expression is totally unreadable to Haseul._

_"Lippie, you alright?" She starts, unsure if this is another one of Jungeun's silly pranks. Jungeun doesn't_ _offer her any verbal answer and instead, turns her gaze away from Haseul, a sigh escaping her lips. "Lip? Jungeun... what's wrong?"_

_Haseul inches closer to the bed as if that move could clear the haze for her. As she is about to settle herself by the edge of the bed, Jungeun rises up to her feet abruptly. Her dark brown orbs are staring right into Haseul's terrified eyes, barely touching the surface of her soul, as if in search for something._

_After a few seconds of losing herself in Jungeun's beautiful eyes, Haseul is presented with her own phone right in front of her face. How long has it been in Jungeun's hold? She never realized it. Jungeun shakes the object around lightly, sending some kind of statement that Haseul can't quite decipher. There is a flash of raw emotions behind Jungeun's orbs before she shuts it down real quick._

_The younger stays muted, letting the phone to slip off her hand and right onto the bed before brushing Haseul's shoulder with her own and makes her way out of the door._

_"What the hell?" Haseul is so confused by the sudden cold treatment. What did she do wrong?_

_She snatches the phone off her bed and hits on the power key to check the lockscreen. Horror immediately plastered on her face upon reading the preview of messages from Yeojin._

_[Yeojin]: movie with lippie?_

_[Yeojin]: btw u ever gonna confess to her?_

_[Yeojin]: i rmb u telling me it hurts to hide your true feelings from her_

_Haseul loses her footing and plops onto the mattress. She can only stare at the wooden door, little did she know she won't be seeing Jungeun for the rest of the day._

How did a harmless conversation managed to take a drastic turn and became the embodiment of doom for her like that? Haseul is starting to believe that the curse people been saying she carries around is a real deal, not just a mere joke. Haseul silently laughs at her pitiful self before a lone tear escapes her. She wants to fix this as soon as possible but Jungeun is out of reach for now and she has no wish to make it worse. The waiting game is going to kill her sooner or later.

 

\----------

 

Their comeback day is around the corner and they are going to kick it off with the must-have showcase stage. For the first time in her life, Haseul is grateful for her jam-packed schedules because:

1\. It effectively helps her to keep her focus on improving herself as both a singer and a performer.  
2\. It takes her mind away from thinking and worrying about her relationship with Jungeun 24/7.

Despite having the root of her problem presented right before her eyes every single day, as they mainly spend their time either at the dance practice room or the recording studio, Haseul still managed to keep her professionalism at maximum level, as per requested by certain somebody. She takes pride in that and no one can stop her from doing so.

As they are diligently practicing to tighten up their choreography, news on a last minute tweak sends a wave of pressure on each of the members. Haseul is especially stressed out since she is a bit lagging when it comes to memorizing dance routines. The pressure is totally getting to her and she is at the verge of breaking down.

"Lippie, come here for a sec." Miss Bae summons the girl.

Haseul is sweating but Jungeun is absolutely drenched. It is to no one's surprise since Jungeun always gives her all when dancing. "Yes, Miss Bae?"

"You got everything down right?" She asks. Jungeun is still breathless so she merely nods at that. "So, give a hand to your members here yeah?" Miss Bae gestures at both Chaewon and Haseul before moving on to check on the others.

Jungeun's eyes are shaking, Haseul can clearly see that. Why is she acting like this is going to be her first time assisting them with their choreography? She is literally their extra instructor at this point. Haseul looks at her weirdly but Jungeun is definitely a  _professional_  at avoiding eye contacts.

"So, how is it going for you... guys?" Really, she rather stares at the wall behind Haseul's head instead of at Haseul herself.

"Still trying to figure out a reasonable reason on why this tweak is needed at all." Chaewon sighs. "Not everyone is gifted like you in this group. I'm about to break a limb here." She wiggles her left hand, it reminds Haseul of the nasty jelly she had when she was 15.

"It's a disaster for me." Haseul simply answers, might as well reserve her remaining energy for dancing instead of talking.

"Well... why don't we take a look first?" Jungeun clasps her hands together. "From the second verse." She orders before taking a few steps back to provide more space for Chaewon and Haseul.

The two girls relentlessly get into the rhythm, matching the beats produced using their mouths to what seems to be a synchronized movements. But it's not that long  before they arrive at the troublesome part. Chaewon appears to have a slightly better grasp on it compared to the obviously struggling Haseul. They both continue to hit on the moves despite it slowly turning into a mess fest.

"Alright, we have seen enough." Jungeun gives them a cue to stop before scratching a finger on her scalp. "I think it'd be easier for me to focus on you first." She points at Chaewon who has been coughing non stop. "You..." Her finger is directed at Haseul but her eyes are elsewhere, Haseul really wants to smack this girl. "... can follow along or just take a rest first. Whichever." Haseul grits on her teeth, Jungeun is pissing her off more than the entire ordeal regarding the choreography. "Let's go, Chae."

At the end Haseul chooses to sit at one corner of the room, too drained both physical and mental wise. She is glaring at Kim Jungeun the entire time, starting not to care if their little discord goes on full display for everyone to see. The fact that Jungeun still looks ridiculously attractive while dancing and guiding Chaewon at the same time is annoying Haseul to no end. The way she moves so gracefully with just enough force to keep eyes on her is beyond Haseul. Jungeun shouldn't be allowed to be this charismatic and enchanting. The world is so unfair.

Heejin comes to collect her not long after that, offering to help her catch up with the routines since she has gotten a hang of it now. Haseul accepts it gladly and actually pulls an all-nighter to perfect her moves that night.

Her tears and sweats are worth it, she knows all of the sacrifice is worth it.

 

\----------

 

Haseul is having a mini brawl with the wire to her in-ear monitor when a pair of hands beat her to grab on it instead. She turns around and half expecting it to be her stylist or maybe one of her four members (as in _four_ , the remaining one is an android so it doesn't count) but is taken aback when she sees Jungeun up close.  _Ugh, why her?_ Haseul looks around to find if there's anyone around to help her escape from Jungeun but surprise, surprise, everybody is busy with something and her members? Well, they are nowhere to be spotted.

It is just Haseul _and_ Kim Lip. _How convenient_.

"I believe you have it attached wrongly here." Jungeun remarks casually, eyes glued on the offending wire with her hands busy securing it back to its rightful place. "There. Don't want you to cause a scene out there, don't we?" Her face is void of emotion while her tone is so robot-like. But the way her eyebrow curls upward doesn't sit well with Haseul, it is almost mocking her.

Haseul is not in the mood for a meaningless banter so she just gets back into her position and pretends that the huge distraction a couple metres behind her simply doesn't exist. Well, she wishes it is  _that_ simple.

"You got all the moves down?" Jungeun tries to strike a conversation, Haseul wonders why she even bother.

"A little bit too late for you to be worrying about that now, don't you think?" Haseul is unamused by Jungeun's pitiful attempt.

Jungeun just hums, Haseul can hear it clearly since Jungeun is literally standing behind her. "And you remember your cue right?" She hears Jungeun talking again. Seriously what is this girl up to?

Haseul rolls her eyes, not bothering to face Jungeun. "Of course. Shouldn't you be worrying about yours instead?" She makes sure Jungeun catches her sarcasm.

"Oh, I never forget what's _mine_." For some reason, Haseul can hear Jungeun smirking through that.

Haseul can't tell why she is so irritated from listening to Jungeun's voice alone. She may or may have not successfully brainwashed herself into believing that she hates Kim Jungeun and is not secretly in love with her, although techical wise she can't exactly call it a secret anymore.

It's so absurd to her that Jungeun asked for them to act professional yet she has been actively ignoring Haseul even during work hours like a freaking child. God forbid her from mentioning 'Haseul' or getting herself involved in something as simple as an eye contact with her. It's even more absurd to think that Jungeun is aware of her feelings for her and denies any form of discussions regarding that topic before voluntarily traded Haseul's place for a new roommate (Haseul loves Chaewon so she has nothing against her), yet has the audacity to come up to her and behaving all casual like this. How dare she.  _It doesn't work like that, Kim Jungeun._

Haseul has long come to terms that the 5th grader her who wished to have mind reading as a superpower was beyond ridiculous. And now, the current her suddenly thinks that idea is a genius and that power could come in handy.  _The irony_. It would be so much easier if Jungeun flat out rejected her, spelled out the big N-O for her to see. Haseul is a grown ass woman, she can deal with a heartbreak or two and still moves forward. So why keep her in the dark like this? Why the push and pull game now? Oh wait, she doesn't know because she has no mind reading power!

"Good for you." She mumbles under her breath, truly has no desire to entertain Jungeun any longer.

The showcase wraps up in a rather eventful manner. No mishaps whatsoever as the members did each of their parts perfectly. The few occasions where Haseul is required to interact with Jungeun spontaneously also gone by quite well. So it's safe and sound for her as of now. They are back in the dorm, granted the time to rest since their promotion won't be starting until later this week. 

Haseul is laying down in her bed, minding her own business and blasting some music through her airpods while Heejin and Jiwoo are doing God knows what on the other side of the room, all hushes and giggles. She told them to keep it down but it's impossible with those two hence why she turns to her airpods at the end.

Minutes of peacefulness while listening to IU is broken down the moment Chaewon knocks on her door and Heejin let her in, with Hyunjin in tow. Great, more people in her room now. They are all sprawled all over Heejin's bed and Haseul watches from the corner of her eyes as a mini commotion erupts between them which then results in Heejin being thrown down from her own bed. Jiwoo actually gets off the mattress to join Heejin on the floor instead. _What a sweet gesture_. Still, Haseul can't help but rolls her eyes at that.

The next song on her playlist is starting off rather slowly so it's so easy for her to catch the moment Jungeun's name slips from Chaewon's tongue.

"Y'all think Lippie got herself a girlfriend now?" Now, Haseul is far from being a nosy person but this is not something that she will skip over. She puts her playlist on pause and still feigns looking busy with her phone.

A low gasp escapes Jiwoo, seriously this girl is the epitome of dramatic. "What makes you think that?"

"I saw her video calling the same girl a couple of times now. Sometimes they talk for hours, can't really hear her since she been using earphones." Chaewon elaborates, shamelessly hogging the bed alongside Hyunjin. "Girl is gorgeous tho. She looks like she came straight out of manga."

"It could be just a friend." Heejin says. "Plus, she'd already announced it to us if she did. I don't see Lip as a person who'd do anything behind our backs." She plays with Jiwoo's hair who happens to lay her head comfortably on her lap.

"Bold of you to assume that the nature of our career won't push her to do that." Chaewon retorts.

Haseul is frowning at this rate. So, Jungeun has a girlfriend? Is that the reason why she never say anything even after she finds out about Haseul's feelings for her? Is Jungeun trying to protect her relationship? Or is she trying to avoid from blatantly breaking Haseul's heart? Not that she hasn't done that already but still, this speculation gives way to a whole new spectrum for her.

"Bold of you to assume that the antisocial Kim Lip has a girlfriend." Hyunjin snickers.

"Well, I hold onto the words of wisdom, if you don't speculate you can't accumulate." Chaewon merely adds.

Hyunjin looks at Chaewon lazily. "That's cool but it's Lip we talking about. She hates everyone but herself."

Heejin widens her eyes. "You're dead wrong. She loves Haseul though. Isn't that right, Haseul?!" She hears Heejin screaming which only looks silly to her since she can listen to her loud and clear without all that.

"Sorry?" She pulls out her left airpod. Her acting skills is off the chart, she should request her company to get her some acting gigs soon.

"Oh, just checking." She sees Heejin smirking. "You can go back to listening to nothing though." Her smirk stretches into an annoying looking one.

Haseul chokes on her saliva. "What are you talking about?" She glares at the girl, Heejin is so good at getting on her nerve. "I'm getting myself something from the kitchen." She drops everything before making her way out of the room.

"Get yourself a better eavesdropping skills while you are at it!" One of these days, she is so going to punch Jeon Heejin square in the face.

It's going to be a quick run and grab mission for Haseul so she skips switching on the lights, her vision is only supported by the illumination coming from the living room. Haseul remembers a bundle of snacks sent in by her parents almost a month ago, where did she place it again? She looks around and spots the said bundle stacked at the highest vantage point of their apartment, on _top_ of the top shelves. Whose bright idea to have it stored up there?! She heaves a very deep sigh. Why everything always goes against her? Haseul wants to cry her heart out.

Haseul gets on her toes and tries to reach for the snacks but sadly even at full stretch, Haseul is so lacking in the height department. "Just why?!" She whispers angrily. A couple of deep breaths later, Haseul opts to grab herself a chair to climb on. She comes here to have a simple nice time and now she is forced to go on extra length to grab a freaking food.

Haseul is about to get a foot on the chair when the kitchen suddenly flooded by bright lights. She ceases her movements, totally confused by the sudden change in her environment. Spinning on her heel, Haseul quickly finds a figure resting by the entrance of the kitchen. Jungeun is standing there with her arms crossed over her chest, looking at Haseul like she just got caught red handed. Their eyes meet and Haseul clears her throat awkwardly before settling herself on the chair, an attempt to cover up what could have been mistaken as a silly act by Jungeun.

Jungeun doesn't say anything and instead, walks into the kitchen to grab herself a mug of plain water. Haseul glances at the wall clock. It is 15 minutes past midnight, why is Jungeun still up? She always goes to bed at 10PM sharp else she would go on a rant on how she is sleep deprived and at the verge of dying. Haseul had the impression that Jungeun will leave as soon as she grabs her mug but is totally surprised to see the brunette gets cozy by the counter instead, very much to her dismay.  _Just great_.

Haseul internally prays that Jungeun won't start any sort of talk.

"What are you doing?"  _Shoot_. Jungeun has her eyes trained on her. Oh, now she has the nerve to do that yeah?

Haseul tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "Getting some fresh air, the whole squad of gossip girls are camping inside of  _my_ room." She rolls her eyes.

Jungeun sips on her water. "What they gossiping about?" Okay, Jungeun is just being nosy now.

"How do I know?" Haseul shrugs, her only wish is for Jungeun to leave so that she can get her hands on her snack. "Shouldn't you be like... sleeping right now?"

"I can say the same about you." Jungeun stares into her now empty mug.

"Told you they are hoarding my bedroom." Haseul shifts in her seat.

"Want me to tell them off?" Jungeun looks like she is ready to march into the room and give them a piece of her mind.

"No, no need to go that far." Haseul shakes her head.

"You know there's three different bedrooms in this apartment." It sounds like an afterthought from Jungeun and not to mention, quite random too. Why the need to bring that up? She knows that fact just as much as the others did. Haseul waits for any kind of elaboration from Jungeun but she seems to have no intention in doing so.

"I'm not sure what you getting at..." She quirks an eyebrow. "But that's not the point. What I meant to say is, you always go to bed at 10 and it's past midnight now. So why?" That may or may not be a genuine concern on Haseul's part. But to her defense, she is just trying to get her snack in peace.

She isn't facing Jungeun directly but she can see some sort of discomfort from the latter's body language. "Just because." Haseul knows better than anyone else that brief answers from Jungeun only serves as a sign to stop pressing the matter.

Jungeun leaves her seat to rinse her mug at the sink.  _Finally_. Haseul internally counting down for Jungeun to return to her room so that she can climb on this waist-height chair and in case things go south, probably risking breaking a bone or two too. But the snacks are definitely going to be worth it.

What actually goes south is her predictions instead. She can only watch in silent as Jungeun pulls out a stool from under the counter before giving it a couple of kicks and have it positioned right in front of the shelves, a few centimetres away from Haseul. Her brown eyes double up in size when she sees Jungeun steps on the stool and grabs on the food that she has been craving since like half an hour ago with relative ease.

This is totally Jungeun showing off her height superiority.

Jungeun extends the bundle right before Haseul, her face is impossible to read. The older girl is speechless hence no sound coming from her at all but the heat rising up on both of her cheeks is unmistakable. Who gives Kim Jungeun the right to be this charming?!

"Saves you from hospital bills." Her voice is so low and deep when she says that. There is a hint of mischief in her eyes too? Haseul can't quite pinpoint it but  _goddamnit_.

_Goddamnit, Kim freaking Jungeun._

 

\----------

 

It's nearing the end of their comeback cycle and Haseul can't wait for their well deserved break to come. A week of break in this line of career is worth a month in almost any other form of job. But before she gets to that, she has one more TV guesting left in her schedules list. Time to put on her showbiz facade.

Initially, she thought it would be a complete group schedules but it's not Jo Haseul if things didn't start to go in the directions that could potentially be unpleasant to her. Their long time manager, Vivi, breaks the news to her on what should have been a one fine day for Haseul.

"Don't forget that guesting you have with Lip in two days time. I'll send the details later." Vivi says casually, eyes busy scanning the papers in her hand.

"Wait, did you say 'with Lip'? As in me _and_ Lip?" Haseul needs a double confirmation.

"Yeah, anything wrong with that?" Vivi looks up to meet her eyes.

Haseul shifts her gaze away awkwardly. "Nope. I just thought it'd be full group." She clears her throat.

"Supposedly. But they checked again and only have two spots left. We figured you two have the most composure and fit the concept the best. Jiwooming, 2jin and even Chaechae would probably do some careless mistakes like starting a fire on the set, can't afford that." Her manager explains tentatively.

_Have the most composure, huh?_

"I see." Haseul nods absentmindedly.

"Is everything okay?" She puts the papers down and stares at Haseul like she had done something wrong.

"Yeah...? Of course." Haseul forces a smile.

"When I told Lip about this a few days ago she had been acting all weird. And now you are no different too." Vivi grips her hands on her hips. She is always known as the cute and gentle manager but don't ever get on her nerve if you don't wish to unleash her dark side.

"Weird... how?" Haseul braces herself to ask, eyes trained on the table in front of her.

Vivi squints harder. "She asked if she could give up her place for any other members. It's a solid no since she has no reason to skip."

Jungeun wanted to avoid going on this schedule with Haseul, what a 'shocking' news. Haseul seriously has no drive left in her to understand what's going on in Jungeun's complicated brain. Just the other day she engaged her in a civil conversation without Haseul feeling like throwing hands at the younger girl. But now this? And here Haseul thought they were mending their friendship. She guess not anymore.

"Whatever it is, I hope you two fix it asap. This group is dependent on you and Lip. If a fallout ensues between the leaders, what do you think gonna happen to the rest of the team?" Vivi picks up her belongings. "Plus you two are grown ups. You can think for yourself."

Haseul hates being told about things that she is completely aware of herself. It's like being taught about how one plus one is equals to two. But Vivi's words hit deeper than she thought it would be.

Can the break please come faster?

She wishes she could skip this day. Haseul is staring at the giant wall mirror in front of her, sleep is still very much in her. She woke up as early as 4AM to get her makeup done and now she is stuck in this waiting room. The recording will not be starting until 11AM, that's almost two hours away. Her cozy bed is calling for her to come back.

"Not sure how much you got your neck insured but breaking it by sleeping like that sure is not the brightest idea." Jungeun either speaks nonsense or speaks to annoy Haseul, there's no in between.

Haseul heaves a very deep sigh, she is sleepy as heck and has no energy to argue over something as mundane as her sleeping position like this. "Who cares? I just want to sleep." She rest her head on her left knuckles. When things go silent and no hint of Jungeun's voice to interrupt her again, Haseul slowly let herself to drift away.

"Apparently I _do_ care." Jungeun's deep voice ( _fuck_ ) suddenly booms near her ear and Haseul is thankful that she has her eyes closed. Her alarm already goes off without her looking, she can't imagine the panic from having Jungeun _this_ close to her with her eyes wide open. "Here." Haseul takes a peek timidly and sees a neck pillow offered to her. It's in the shape of... an owl? Um?

"I hate birds." Haseul simply says before closing her eyes quickly again.

"But owl is cool though." Jungeun still hasn't give up.

"Birds are still birds." Haseul mumbles lazily. She is fully aware that her arguments really have nothing to do with her disliking birds.  _Please go away, Jungeun_.

The next instance totally catches her off guards. Jungeun actually takes her hand, is Jungeun having a fever because her hand is so warm against Haseul's and Haseul hates it  _very much_ , before handing over the neck pillow to her. Jungeun is disregarding Haseul's rejection because 'she doesn't want Haseul to break her neck'. _Cool_. "Use this and go sit on the sofa instead. You look silly sleeping like that." Okay, maybe not so cool anymore.

Haseul actually moves over to the sofa and let the pillow to hug her neck to sleep. Okay, maybe a little cool?

The recording, as Haseul has expected, is dry and plain as heck. Three years into her career and Haseul still can't tell the need to please these people with their silly questions and requests. She rather be sleeping than be here and fakes like she is enjoying the entire show.

"That's a nice one!" She hears the host exclaims before laughing his head off.  _Ugh_. "Now moving onto our two beautiful female guests, aren't we curious about their ideal types too?"  _Well, shit_. "What's yours, Miss Kim Lip?"

Haseul sees Jungeun laughing awkwardly alongside her, the younger girl has never been the better one at masking her facial expressions. "Ha ha. Well... let's see. Ah, this is hard." She laughs again, she notices Jungeun glancing at her for a couple of seconds before looking straight ahead again. "This might sounds weird but I like someone dense?"  _What. Kind. Of. Answer. Is. That?_ Haseul can't tell if Jungeun is being serious or if that is just an attempt at a lame joke.

"Dense? That's very specific. Maybe you have someone in mind?" He asks again, clearly baiting Jungeun to expose herself.

"Maybe I am, maybe I am not." She shrugs jokingly. "But on a serious note, I just like someone that I can get along with. Someone that can be both a lover and a best friend to me." Jungeun trails off. Haseul isn't sure why, but the image of manga girl told by Chaewon suddenly invades her mind. She can't help but frown at that.

"You'd find that person someday. That person could probably be among us here today too!" He gestures at everyone in the room. "What about you, Miss Haseul?"

Haseul gulps down on her saliva. This should be easy for her, just make up a lie and go with it. Jungeun is giving her a reassuring smile, genuine or not it kind of help Haseul to calm her nerve. "It is not very interesting to share it out loud like this." Haseul forces a smile. "I find person with reversal charms to be my type."

"Not sure why you said that but that is _very_ interesting, Miss Haseul." Haseul watches as everyone on the set nod along to that. "But what kind of reversal charms, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Um... for example, someone that has a cold demeanour but is actually very warm on the inside?" Haseul smiles to herself. "But I guess it's hard to find the right one." She proceeds to break into a laugh.

Indeed, finding one isn't hard but finding the right one is almost impossible.

 

\----------

 

"Just don't kill each other okay?" Heejin says for the umpteenth time today. "Can I really trust you two not to burn down the apartment while we're gone?" She adds, face is full worry.

"Pretty sure you're mistaking us with Jiwoo and Hyunjin." Jungeun retorts lazily, massaging on her hurting temple.

"I don't condone that kind of slander against Jiwoo." Heejin shoves a finger on Jungeun's shoulder. "She's not even here, you coward."

"Hey, what about me?" Hyunjin gestures at herself.

Heejin merely smiles at the girl. "You can speak for yourself?" She shrugs before moving to gather more of her belongings from her shared bedroom with Haseul.

"I'm so going to ditch Jeon Heejin at the train station." Haseul hears Hyunjin mutters under her breath, she can't help but side-eyes her for that.

Haseul gets up from the sofa to grab herself a glass of water from the kitchen. She dead believed that she was going to be alone during the break, going to have the apartment all to herself and going to have a good time recharging her depleted energy without anyone else's presence. She purposely skipped from booking a ticket back to USA and back to her family for all that and now she is told she is going to spend the entire week with Jungeun alone in their apartment?!

Oh boy, she is  _dead_ wrong. Haseul internally cries at that. Why would Jungeun stay here the whole week? Her family is literally in Cheongju? That is literally four hours of flight at maximum. For the record, she did hear Jungeun spouting excuses like 'unlike you bums I have practices to do' ( _you workaholic freak_ ), 'my family will be away', 'dad's gonna make me go hiking again' and the classic 'just because' when the members ask her on why is she staying in Seoul for the break. Haseul has a feeling none of that is close to the truth and Haseul has yet to find out the truth.

"Haseul, we're leaving!" Heejin's shout breaks Haseul from her little nightmare. She grunts before making her way to the front door. If it's going to be like this, she rather have Heejin and Hyunjin sticking around.

"Why you look like you just lost 10 years from your entire lifespan?" Hyunjin asks, arching her right eyebrow at Haseul. "Please don't. You don't have that much left." Okay she spoke too soon, Hyunjin can go.

"Shut up." Haseul glares at her. "When you guys coming back again?" She glances at Jungeun wearily.

"Before the clock strikes 0000 on the last day? I don't know." Heejin purses her lips. "Again, please don't kill each other." Heejin directs a _look_ at Haseul but she honestly has no idea what is that supposed to mean.

"I thought you said Lip loves Haseul, so why would she kill her?" Hyunjin says so casually and Heejin is quick to cover her big mouth.

Jungeun has her eyebrows knit together. She is eyeing each of them with suspecting eyes and they are actively avoiding her gaze. Jungeun basically just caught them talking about her behind her back. Well, technical wise Haseul wasn't directly involved but she had her own share in that too.

"We should go now." Heejin suddenly announces. "See you guys when we... see you!" And with that she slams the door shut, leaving Haseul and Jungeun staring at the wooden door with empty gazes.

"I-- should go back to my room." Haseul spins on her heel, ready to sprint to her door. 

"I'll be out later in the evening." Jungeun says out of nowhere.

Haseul stops in her tracks, unsure of an appropriate reaction to that. "O... kay?" She looks over her shoulder. "Where you going?" She asks for the sake of it.

"Uh, meeting a friend." Haseul can hear Jungeun inching closer.  _Red alert, red alert_. She turns around abruptly and that effectively halts Jungeun's steps. "Will you be okay by yourself?"

"I'm not 5." Jungeun doesn't respond and Haseul realizes that might have come off a little rude. "I mean of course I'll be fine. I'm a grown up."  _Literally older than you_.

"Well... alright. Let me know if something comes up or... if you need anything." Jungeun smiles before walking away towards her own bedroom.

Haseul let her gaze to fall on the closed door, Jungeun is really playing the hot and cold game with her.  _How dare she_. Jungeun is a homebody, not the type to spend her precious time away from home. The most she'd do is lock herself up in the practice room and practice like there's no tomorrow left for her. She bets Jungeun is going out on a date later, a date with her gorgeous manga girlfriend. That may be the reason why she is staying behind too, to spend time with her _girlfriend_ leisurely. Haseul feels both heartbroken and angry. The reasons? As simple as:

1\. Heartbroken because Jungeun has a girlfriend.  
2\. Angry because Jungeun has a girlfriend.

Speculation hurts her this much, she can't imagine learning the truth.

The first day of her official break comes and Haseul is grateful that things are looking smooth for her so far, although it's a bit too early for her to tell. Still, she  _is_ grateful. She comes out of her bedroom earlier and it is pure silence, no loud noises coming from either Jiwoo, Heejin, Hyunjin or Chaewon. No nothing but Haseul and her well deserved serene environment. She also doesn't miss to check on Jungeun, tip toeing towards her bedroom and puts her ear against the door. She hears nothing so she assumes Jungeun is still sleeping, which is weird because that girl usually wakes up at crack of dawn at most.

She chalks it up by assuming that Jungeun came in late last night because that's how  _good_  her date went.  _Ugh_.

But then she finds a sticky note on their fridge, 'out for practice' it says, and Haseul doesn't need to inspect further to tell that it's Jungeun's ugly (but beautiful) handwriting. She let out a supressed shout of 'yes!' but then later realizes it's a stupid move since there's no one else with her.

So she screams on top of her lungs to the point that it echoes throughout the apartment. She prays it will be like this for the next six days.

When Haseul wakes up tomorrow morning, a feeling of guilt suddenly bubbles up in her. She spent the first day doing nothing remotely productive and she is regretting her wasted 24 hours. Nothing she can do to get it back but she is not about to repeat the same mistake.

Haseul pulls out a flat box from beneath her bed and instantly sneezes from the dust piling up on it. Her parents is totally obsessed at delivering packages to her address almost every month. She received this particular wooden rack when they first moved into this apartment but she can't find the right timing to assemble it. Now seems like the perfect time to get to that.

She already went over her new routine of inspecting Jungeun's bedroom and is pleased to detect no hint of Jungeun in there. There's a huge possibility that Jungeun is out for another round of practice again. Maybe Jungeun needs to lay off her with little regime but it's not like Haseul knows how to get it across to Jungeun. Jungeun didn't leave her a sticky note today though and Haseul just concludes that it's not a big deal.

Haseul is halfway through putting the pieces together when she notices about its awkward visuals. She puts the manuals side by side with the supposed rack and... it does look strange and different. Haseul shrugs it off and resumes with her (poor) handwork while humming to her IU's playlist. A minute and 30 seconds later, as she is about to slot in a screw into its place, the pieces instantly come crumbling down out of nowhere. The noise that the little tragic event produces is deafening her, Haseul protects her ears using her hands helplessly while her eyes are tightly shut.

Haseul braces herself to take a peek. "No!!!" She cries at the mess before her.

She hears the door creaks. "What's going on here?" Wait, is that Jungeun? Haseul whips her head towards the entrance and true enough, Kim Jungeun is standing there with a puzzled face. "Are you okay?"

"I... thought you left?" Haseul scrambles over to hide her failed mini project behind her.

"Left where...?" Jungeun has stepped into Haseul's bedroom completely, trying to take a peek behind her. Haseul knows her stature won't be able to hide the mess forever.

"To practice?" Haseul supplies, eyes darting everywhere.

"I'm not?" Jungeun stares at her weirdly. "I haven't left the entire day."

"Oh."  _Oh_. "Uh... I thought you weren't home so... um, I probably made a lot of noise. Sorry about that." She looks down bashfully. "I'd be quieter if I had known." Her throat is suddenly hoarse.

"Not gonna lie, you made a lot of noises there." Jungeun says. "But it's cool, I don't mind."

"Good to know... but still, sorry." Haseul should have done a much thorough inspection next time. But is it her fault that Jungeun is so quiet that she can't tell if she is home or not? Nope, this is totally Jungeun's fault.  _Kim Jungeun's fault and no one else's_.

Haseul expected Jungeun to exit her bedroom and leave Haseul to cry herself out but instead of going the easy route, the girl actually grabs on the abandoned manuals to Haseul's right and studies it like it's the most interesting thing in the world. "You're working on this?" She asks and it sounds so genuine so Haseul nods as an answer. "By yourself?"

"... Yeah?" Haseul pulls her eyebrows upwards. It's not long before Jungeun breaks into a small laugh. "Excuse me? Did I miss anything?"

Jungeun shakes her head but continues to laugh and it only frustrates Haseul more. "But you probably missed a couple of screws here and there."

Haseul failed to catch it at first but then it hits her hard. "You really think I'm _that_ bad at this?" She is officially offended.

Jungeun shrugs. "I'm not assuming though." Haseul hates that she can't retort that, her history prevails and it shows nothing but her bad record at craftmanship.

"Shut up, Lippie." She looks away, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Do you need my help?" The younger girl suddenly offers.

"As if you'd be of any help." She answers with much arrogance.

"Uh... in case you forget _not_  to forget, I was an art student before I'm an idol."  _Oh shoot_. She did not just forget about the fact that Jungeun is pretty good with her hands. Jungeun is looking at her with a subtle smile. Haseul just turns her head away while faking a cough. "Is that a yes?"

"Don't you have any practice to do?" Haseul starts to gather the pieces back in order.

"Not today." Jungeun gets to her eye level, lending a hand in fixing the mess that Haseul created earlier. Haseul pretends that she isn't swayed by  _how_  good Jungeun looks up close.

So just like that, they get to the task together. But really, it's mainly Jungeun with Haseul sitting a few feets away from her, handing over the tools for the former to use. Haseul stares in awe as Jungeun handles everything like a professional. She knows Jungeun is a very detail person and can be quite of a perfectionist too. It shows through especially during her stage performances, where she pronounces every emotion in her movements with so much grace. Jungeun has the tendencies of a workaholic and that fact never sits well with Haseul but she can't lie just how much she finds her hardworking trait as attractive. She is trying hard to be subtle at stealing glances towards the younger girl.

"You said your parents sent this in?" Jungeun speaks out of nowhere.

"Yeah, like a housewarming gift." Haseul answers. "They sure overestimated their daughter's abilities." She sighs.

"Nah, their daughter is able to belt out notes and dance. Not to mention is smart and pretty. If I were them, I'd have no second thought to trust my daughter with this too." Haseul eyes her, unsure on the correlation between all of that. Despite the warmth spreading across her cheeks, she ignores it still. "But this design is weird, I've never quite seen a rack that requires both screws and nails on it." Jungeun turns the manuals all over the place.

"Are you saying we can't finish it?" Haseul blinks.

"Of course  _we_  can." Jungeun sends a smile her way and there's only a little time for Haseul to hide her rosy cheeks from Jungeun's radar. "We gon' be needing a hammer and nails though."

"I think we have them in the store." Haseul announces. "Lemme go grab them." She is quick to get on her feet and leaves the bedroom. Jungeun and her sickening smile is making her head swimming. They better be done with this as soon as possible.

"That's fast." Jungeun points out as Haseul makes her way back to her side, a hammer on her right hand and a box of nails on the other.

"Let me take over from here. Just tell me where to hammer." There's no hesitation in Haseul's voice. She is already in the position too.

"A-- are you sure about this?" The younger one is clearly taken aback by the sudden order. Trusting Haseul with a hammer sounds a lot like a recipe for disaster.

"Did I stutter?" Haseul glares at her.

"... No?" She sees Jungeun gulping with her eyes shaking.

"Now tell me where." Haseul demands again.

"Here, you put this here and yeah you need to hammer it from this side." Jungeun points at the spot.

Haseul takes a deep breath. She is going to show Jungeun that she can be good at handiwork too. She gives the nail a few gentle knocks but it barely moves through the board. It doesn't take a genius to tell that she needs to hit harder than that.

"Um... maybe you need to--"

"I know what I'm doing." Haseul dodges as Jungeun's hands are about to get on top of hers. She is trying to be productive here, can Jungeun not interrupt her (and her goddamn heart) for like one minute? "Here goes." She whispers to herself as she lifts the hammer higher than before and drops it back down with full force straight onto, "Ow!!!" her own thumb.

"Oh my God, wait here. I'm getting the ice." Yes, she is totally not going anywhere anytime soon.  _Genius_. Haseul is literally crying, there's tears at the corner of her eyes. It stings real bad. Jungeun comes back in less than five seconds later, an ice pack goes straight to Haseul's sore thumb. Jungeun holds onto it with so much care. _It's only a thumb for heaven's sake, why she has to be this sweet_. "Feels better?" The brunette breathes out a few moments later.

"Yeah--" Only then Haseul realizes just how close Jungeun's face is to hers, she can practically count on Jungeun's eyelashes from this distance.  _God, Jungeun is so beautiful_. There has to be some sort of spell casted then, since Haseul can't seem to take her eyes off Jungeun's brown orbs. She feels trapped inside of them and her struggle to escape only results in her being pulled deeper. Haseul inches closer, Jungeun's warm breath touches her face softly.

Wait. WAIT.

Jungeun has a girlfriend, no? Jungeun has been avoiding Haseul because she doesn't know how to reject Haseul nicely, no? Jungeun wants Haseul nowhere near her, no? Jungeun wants Haseul to waste none of her time, no? Jungeun is toying with her feelings now, no? Jungeun is-- "No, you need to get out now."

"Huh?" The sudden shift in air is so intense that Jungeun frozen up in her spot.

"Get out." Haseul shoves Jungeun away lightly. "Get out of my room." Her volume is louder this time, her resolve is crumbling down slowly.

"But, Haseul--"

"Lip, please." Haseul shuts her eyes (and her _goddamn_  heart). "Out. Now."

Jungeun rises up to her feet hesitantly, still very much confused by the unforeseen turn of events. Haseul waits until Jungeun closes the door behind her before she gets up and locks it from the inside. "Haseul, I'm sorry." She hears the girl pleads from the other side of the door.

She slides down to the floor with her back against the door, hot tears streaming down her delicate face in silence.

It's official. Haseul hates Jungeun so much.

_**\- TBC.** _


	2. Part 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kim Lip ***** Haseul?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 1: 20k++ words? I must have lose my mind  
> A/N 2: Save Me, Save You is on the backburner because of this I'm--  
> A/N 3: But on the brighter side this is over! Although this is a freaking mess...  
> A/N 4: Happy New Year! X1X got me so hype!!!

"Haseul, I'm sorry." Jungeun puts her hand against the door, it's weirdly cold beneath her palm.

She absolutely has no idea on what just happened back there. One moment Haseul's face was so close to hers and Jungeun thought she saw stars behind Haseul's orbs, but then Haseul pulled away out of nowhere like something inside of her just snapped. And in the next instance Haseul basically kicked her out of her bedroom, voice so distant Jungeun had chills ran down her spine. _What did she do wrong now?_

"Haseul?" She tries again but only silence serves as a response. Jungeun sighs before closing her eyes in her attempt to recollect her thoughts.

Jungeun then tries to force her hearing to spot any sort of sound coming from behind the door but her effort is proven futile. It is of no help that Jungeun is often clueless when it comes to dealing with feelings and emotions like this.

The only thing she is aware of is the state of confusion her brain (and maybe her heart too) is in right now.

 

\----------

 

Jungeun has been staring at the ceiling for approximately 17 minutes and 39 seconds now, yet nothing comes into her mind. This isn't a rare occassion, Jungeun has always been good at acting like her brain is occupied with something when really it's only filled with nothingness. She has been trying, struggling even, to get her gears to work but all she gets in return is a pounding headache and a growling stomach (unconciously starving herself from thinking too much). Half an hour ago, she peeks through the gap of her bedroom door to see if Haseul has come out of her dungeon, but the space still appears as empty as the desert (she can almost hear the wind blowing and a couple of tumbleweeds rolling around with it). To say that Jungeun is panicking will be an understatement, her inside is so frantic and messy, she doesn't know what is going on anymore. She can't even tell if Haseul is still in the apartment or not.

She heaves a very heavy breath as her eyes come to a close. The past few months have been quite a torture for her; dodging, acting, faking, lying. You name it, she has done it all. Just anything in order to keep the distance between her and Haseul. But it's proven to be not as effective, she still found herself constantly being deceived by her own heart. One moment she managed to convince herself to ignore Haseul's presence, but the next minute she was already engaging herself in an interaction with the said girl without her noticing. So unlike Kim Jungeun to give up just like that. But then she realized that she might have appeared as a sick jerk in Haseul's eyes and that's when her resolve slowly crumbles. Haseul deserves none of her cruel and heartless act.  _None at all_.

So off Jungeun in search for a headstart. Maybe heaven heard her prayers and it may be a pure luck too, but somehow her slow brain figured a window of opportunity. Others see it as a week of break but Jungeun sees it as 10080 minutes worth of time for her to restore their friendship again. It's just a speculation in her mind, but she thought she saw discomfort behind Haseul's brown eyes when she announced that she will be staying for the week. Although it should not be a far reach, it makes sense for Haseul to feel that way isn't it?

Then Jungeun gathered the courage to _actually_ patch up their relationship so she jumped on the first chance she saw. But guess what? She was ordered to head straight to the exit with no chance to appeal whatsoever. Which is  _great_ since her confidence takes off altogether with it. _Just great_.

Jungeun moves her hand around to locate her phone, eyes still void of anything. Swiping to her recent contacts, she immediately let her thumb to touch the video call button. Good thing that Chaewon isn't around since she forgets to reach for her earphones from the bedside table. A few seconds later, a face shows up on her screen albeit it being a little bit shaky. Jungeun hopes she won't be catching her in a bad timing.

 _"Hey, sweetie."_  The person greets her with a smile. Jungeun doesn't respond and instead, has been virtually creating a hole through the screen. _"Hey, you okay?"_ Worry lacing the tone.

Jungeun snaps out of her trance. "Where are you?" A faint noise that sounds a lot like music is flowing out from her speaker steadily.

 _"Eden's-- waiting for Soo-- be right back."_  There's a pause. _"Waiting for Soo to finish with her rehearsal."_  The respond comes in a rather distracted manner, Jungeun assumes the girl is not alone.

"Rehearsal?" She croaks another question.

The video then shakes violently, accompanies by a muffled noise. It's not long before she comes into her view again. Jungeun notices that the background is different now, the surrounding is a lot quieter too. _"She has another show tonight, remember?"_

"Oh, right..." That almost slipped off Jungeun's memory.

 _"Hey, you look out of it."_ The girl points out.  _"What's wrong?"_  Another question is being thrown at her.

Jungeun just sighs faintly. "Can I come?"

 _"You already did last night?"_ Jungeun can see the way her eyebrows move up and down.  _"But of course you can, sweetie."_ Another soft smile.  _"Do you need me to come pick you up?"_

"No, it's okay." Jungeun shakes her head lazily. "I'll take a cab or something."

 _"Make sure you cover up properly, you almost got mobbed last night."_ The girl reprimands her.  _"And be careful on your way here, okay?"_

"Will do. Don't worry." She proceeds to get into a sitting position. "See you."

 _"Mhmm."_ The girl waves a hand at her and Jungeun cuts the video off.

It's always a convenient fact that Jungeun is living her life quite simply. She takes less than 10 minutes to get ready, cladding herself in a turtleneck and a pair of plain dark jeans with her black leather jacket being a last minute addition. She initially thought about leaving without notice but then decides against it. So here she is, standing right in front of Haseul's door, palms sweating despite the not-so-warm temperature.

Jungeun makes a few careful knocks. "H- Haseul?" It's not like Jungeun is expecting for any sort of reply, but she still takes a brief pause just to make sure. "I'll be out for a bit... and uh..." Her throat feels so hoarse. "... call me if there's anything.  _Please_." She whispers the last word faintly.

Jungeun can't tell if she's just being too desperate but she swears she can hear a light shuffling from the other side of the door. At least Haseul is still here.  _Wait, that's her right?_  That has to be Haseul, if not Jungeun is so ready to move dorms again.

One last look, one last sigh. "I'm _sorry_." She mutters one last time before turning around from the door.

The weather is pretty chilly tonight. Even with layers of clothes on, Jungeun is still shivering to her core. She makes sure her mask and glasses are intact before she steps into the cafe. Last night almost costed her an incident as a group of fangirls recognized her, shouting 'Kim Lip! Kim Lip! Kim Lip!' on top of their lungs and lucky for Jungeun, she got away from them just in time with help from her friends. Don't get her wrong, she appreciates and adores her fans but Jungeun is still a human afterall, with needs of private time and  private space.

She headed for a secluded booth down the floor that happens to have a perfect view of the main stage. Jungeun immediately spots the shiny blonde locks under the dimmed lighting. The girl looks up from her phone upon sensing Jungeun's presence.

"Hey, you're here." She opens her arms, a silent invitation for a hug. Jungeun accepts it gladly before taking a seat next to the blonde, head resting on her shoulder. "Any fangirls waiting for you tonight?" She teases her.

"The only fangirl here is you." Jungeun answers lazily.

"Always a proud one." The girl wraps her arm around Jungeun's right one. "And will always be one." She collides their heads together playfully.

"I'm  _so_ lucky." Jungeun exaggerates her tone, earning a jab on her ribs. "Ouch, you meanie."

"You asked for that." She glares at Jungeun, it goes unnoticed since the latter has her eyes on the stage. "So, wanna talk about it?"

"I dunno..." Jungeun sighs. "What's the point..."

"How you gonna look like you're half dead on the phone and now that you're here you suddenly go 'what's the point' with me." She pushes Jungeun off her, this time she makes sure her glare is clear to her.

Jungeun's lips immediately curl downwards before her face contorts into a cry-ready expression. "Can I turn that half into a full circle already?" A smack is heard then. "Ow!" Jungeun rubs on her sore arm.

"About to order a jalapeno juice for you here." She squints her eyes. It doesn't take her long to recollect Jungeun in her hold.

"Y'know, if I didn't know you two were related, I would have thought Soul was dating you." A voice suddenly chimes in. "Tryna steal my girl yeah, Jungeun?" The newcomer let out a relieved sigh as she rests her back against the cushion.

"You stole her from me _first_." Jungeun rolls her eyes. "But ew that's like incest, Soo." Her face twists into a disgusted expression.

"That  _is_  incest by law." Jinsoul corrects her, shaking her head.

"Who knows?" Sooyoung shrugs. "Last I checked, you are still incapable of getting your  _own_ girl." That earns a look from Jinsoul. "What? Someone needs to speak truth into existence here, no?"

"Stop bullying me, Soo." Jungeun whines. "I'm not trying to get myself any girl. I just-- want my friend back..."

"Way to friendzone your love interest." Jungeun detaches herself from Jinsoul. "I'm sorry Jungie but as harsh as that sounds, I think Soo is right this time."

"Not you too, sis..." Jungeun widens her eyes at the girl.

"I thought after all that pep talk before, she would be over the denial stage by now." Sooyoung points out. "But I guess not."

"Okay, you two chill. Especially you, babe." Jinsoul sends a look at Sooyoung's direction. "Asking for real here Jungeun, how is it going?"

Jungeun let out a shaky breath. "It has effective..." Sooyoung leans forward at that. "... ly went from worse to horrible."

"Pssh what did I expect from you, you little L." Sooyoung scoffs. "And that's not for 'loser' in case you can't tell."

"Soul, can you ask your girlfriend to stop pushing her personal agenda on me?" The brunette buries her face in her palms.

"Maybe if  _you_ stop denying about your feelings for a certain Jo." Jinsoul puts a stress in her tone. "You are head over heels for her since like... what?"

"Forever?" Sooyoung supplies.

"Oh, babe. We really are the only ones with eyes and braincells here." Jungeun just watches in silent as they exchange a sweet (but dreadful) gaze with each other.

"That's so long ago, okay? Pretty sure I'm already over her." She raises her voice a bit, making sure the emphasization is solid.

" _'I'm over her'_ , yet you go full on gay panic mode the moment you found out she likes you too." Thankfully her sister is here, Jungeun would have smacked Sooyoung right there.

"I didn't gay panic." Jungeun mumbles to herself.

Jinsoul nods at that. "Yup, it's obvious you still have feelings for her sweetie."

"About time you uncover it, Jungeun." Sooyoung stares at her. "I mean,  _Kim Lip_." The oldest snickers at her own teasing. "I swear to God the gap between Kim Jungeun and Kim Lip is unreal. You sure your lil sis ain't hiding no clones anywhere?" Jinsoul stiffles a laugh, merely shaking her head. "Because best believe, Kim Lip would have gotten this sort out in no time." Both Sooyoung and Jinsoul laugh their heads off.

"Ugh don't you have a stage where you need to be, _Yves_?" Jungeun looks away. "I regret coming here."

"You have to admit that name is the superior one." Sooyoung smirks before shifting her attention towards the stage. "Still 15 minutes to go by the way."

A hand then lands on top of Jungeun's. "Hey, all the teasing aside, I genuinely think you need to do something about it asap. Communications is key, Jungeun. So, talk to her yeah...?" Sincerity is shining brightly behind Jinsoul's eyes, her sister really is the only one she can trust herself with huh?

Jungeun munches on her lower lip. "But... what if it backfires even more?" A troubled frown appears on her face.

"Even more...? Wait, you haven't elaborate on that event you label as 'horrible'." Jinsoul crosses her arms in a dictating manner.

Jungeun huffs. "I followed your advice okay?" Her hands move all over the place, clearly frustrated at her own decision. She knew the Soo&Soul pact should not be trusted in the first place. "I approached her, did her a favour and it went smooth at first... but then she kicked me out." She slumps further into her seat.

"Why? Is she unsatisfied by your  _favour_?" Sooyoung casually butts in.

"Babe, I love you but can you please shut it for like five minutes?" A playful punch greets Sooyoung's upper arm.

"Ow!" The girl inches away from Jinsoul, a sulky face appears shortly after that. Jungeun can hear her mumbling 'the biasness is real'.

"Okay, you say she kicked you out?" Jinsoul asks in disbelief. "That's not  _the_  Haseul that I once knew. Unless you really did something horrible to her..." A panic gasp escapes her sister.

"What-- I didn't do anything to her okay? All I did was... helping her assembling a rack..." The memory is still too painful to her.

"That warrants her to kick you out...?" A crease forms on Jinsoul's forehead.

"No, not that. This is just an assumption though, like there's no clear proof, like--"

"Kim Jungeun." Jinsoul addresses her sternly.

"Uh... I think we... almost... ki--" Hold up, this information is supposed to be kept private and confidential. How is she going to dodge this one? "Ki..." Jungeun shakes her head violently.

"Ki......? What??"

" _Kissed_. They almost kissed. You're such a noob, Jungeun." When did Sooyoung rejoin them? Jungeun can see Jinsoul mirroring her confused expression. "What? The five minutes is up while Jungeun was struggling to tell you about her oh so  _amateur_  experience."

"Hey!" Jungeun leans forward to perform any sort of possible assault on Sooyoung but Jinsoul is quick to put her back in her place.

"Hush now. Do you really want to attract attention on yourself?" The pointed look Jinsoul gives her is enough to make her gulp in nervous. "But, babe..." Jinsoul pulls Sooyoung closer to her like she is about to drop the greatest revelation of the century. "... you thinking what I'm thinking?"

For some reason, that tone behind Jinsoul's voice reminds Jungeun of those banana characters she used to see on television. Jinsoul's golden hair is not helping her to unsee that at all.

"Oh yeah, honey. Shall we tell our little one here?" Jungeun unconciously moves away from the weird couple.

Both Sooyoung and her sister smiles at her, eyes glistening with something that Jungeun can't quite comprehend. Jinsoul then motions for them to say it together. " _You're gay_ , Kim Jungeun."

 

\----------

 

Jungeun is about to leave the company's building when her phone buzz, an indication for a new notification. She immediately reaches deep in her pocket for the device.

"So you gonna ignore me like that, huh?" Jungeun pauses her movement at the sudden voice. She looks around in confusion before spotting her manager's offended face.

The woman prompts her to come over. "Didn't see you there..." She reasons out, hesitantly making her way towards the all smiling manager.

"Maybe if you stop for awhile and look around instead of keeping your eyes on the road all the time..." Vivi shakes her head. "Do you even know what 'breaks' means?

"Uh..." Jungeun contemplates whether to answer that question or not.

"It's for you to rest, go out, go home, go anywhere. Do anything that's not related to work. Ever heard of that?" Her manager calls her over to nag her like this? She should have just continue walk pass the exit.

"Yes, I know all of that." Jungeun drops her gaze to the floor.

"Then explain the reports that I get about you being here almost everyday this week?" _Of course._

"Who playing snitch now?" The brunette rolls her eyes.

"Does it matter?" Her manager asks nonchalantly.

"Yes?" Jungeun shifts her weight to her left foot. "So that I know who to avoid."

Vivi snickers. "That's what you're good at huh? _Avoid_." Jungeun tries her best to shrug that off, but it feels like there's another layer beneath that. "Since you're already here..." Jungeun sees Vivi gesturing her to come closer (seriously just how close she wants her to be next?) to which she abides. "Are you and Haseul fine now?"

"What does that even mean?" Jungeun jerks backwards, giving her all to appear as confused as possible.

Vivi seems not to buy it. "Your acting is terrible, Miss Kim." The manager shakes her head.

"I still don't understand what you talking about." She looks away, trying her best to brazen her front.

"Well, if you say so..." Vivi leans back in her seat, shrugging lazily. Jungeun knows that Vivi is just avoiding from potentially making her upset.

"I'll get going then..." She starts with a slow reverse away from Vivi.

"Remember what I said about breaks." Vivi gives a pointed look before waving her off. "Oh, and don't forget to say hi to Haseul for me!" Jungeun blinks rapidly at that.  _Say hi to Haseul huh?_ For heaven's sake, Jungeun is aware that both Haseul and Vivi exchange text messages with each other almost everyday. She bets Vivi is already on her way to notify Haseul about her whereabouts right now.

Wait. Jungeun might have accidentally obtains herself a lead on the identity of that snitch.  _It's possible..._

Oh well.

There seems to be a pack of people at the bus stop, Jungeun checks on her wristwatch and only then notices that it's the rush hour. Out of the many times in a day she actually choose the peak hour to commute back home, she can't help but sigh at that. Jungeun then pulls her cargo hat further downwards before checking if her mask covers enough of her face. Once satisfied, she makes her way towards the bus stop and decides to lean against one of the poles instead of joining the mass of bodies under the roof. A few minutes later, only then she remembers to check on her phone and she swears her heart almost dropped at the text message she received a while ago.

[Haseul]: hey will u be home late?

Jungeun unconciously hyperventilates at the unexpected text message, she brings her free hand to fan at her warm face while bouncing about on her feet. It's such a simple and generic text message but why is she panicking like a high school teenager receiving a 'hi' from their long time crush? She looks around to find any possible witness to her little freak-out moment but is relieved to see everyone is occupied with their own stuffs. Jungeun stares at the string of five words without blinking once, head is completely empty. Jungeun wonders if Haseul is in trouble, she sent that almost 20 minutes ago. She would have called straight away if it's an urgent matter, right? Should she answer Haseul truthfully or should she test the waters first...?

Jungeun scoffs at her ridiculous state. This is so embarrassing, she is thankful that no one will ever learn about this little secret of hers.  _No one ever_.

[Jungeun]: not sure yet  
[Jungeun]: why?

Jungeun hits herself repeatedly on the head after sending that. Why did she reply in two separate sentences like that? Haseul only sent one in, so her reply should be in the same length too. It's _the_ rule. Now she is 100% sure that Haseul is going to sense her over the top reaction. _You dummy_. Jungeun calms herself down by breathing slowly, she needs to stay composed. The only thing left now is for her to wait for Haseul's--

A buzz.

Seems like she doesn't have to wait for long as her phone vibrates in her hand and she almost dropped it to the ground. So much for staying _composed_. The idea of Haseul expecting for her reply is making her heart flips.

[Haseul]: just wondering  
[Haseul]: :)

 _That's all...?_ Jungeun can't hide her disappointment. Oh, but there's a smiley. An old school one but still a smiley. Jungeun is unsure of the indication behind that. Is that a genuine smile or the 'shade' kind of smile? Should she be worried about that?  _Ugh_. Locking her phone, she opts to keep the device back in her pocket. How she wishes that Haseul would say something more. It has been over 24 hours since they last spoke and to think how unpretty the way it ended yesterday, a text message from Haseul seems like a glimmer of hope to Jungeun. But now it appears to be going nowhere, Haseul is probably only checking on how much time left before Jungeun arrives home and she have to send herself back to the dungeon again. Maybe Jungeun should do her a favour and head somewhere else first.

Her phone vibrates again and with a low grumble, she pulls it out without much thought. Oh, it's Haseul ( _The_ _Jo freaking Haseul!_ ). 

[Haseul]: i made some food  
[Haseul]: ok not some  
[Haseul]: this is dumb but  
[Haseul]: i forgot that i should be cooking for one person  
[Haseul]: so haha

Jungeun proceeds to deadpan at the content of Haseul's new text message. Haseul will always be Haseul, huh? Her thumbs hover over the keyboard, pretty much unsure on how to respond to that. Jungeun would have typed in a big 'LOL' but with the current state of their relationship and her own state of overthinking, that could be consider as inappropriate. She takes another look at the crowd waiting at the bus stop and immediately makes up her mind. Jinsoul's ' _You need to do something about it asap. Communications is key, Jungeun._ ' echoes at the back of her mind. Hailing a cab that happens to approach right on time, Jungeun gets inside it without second thought.

[Jungeun]: lol? actually  
[Jungeun]: i'm already on my way home now  
[Jungeun]: and i'm pretty hungry  
[Jungeun]: coincidence huh? >.<

A smile creeps upon her face slowly and Jungeun unconciously hums along to the songs playing through the stereo.

[Haseul]: oh? what are the odds  
[Haseul]: but great then!  
[Haseul]: we can have dinner together

Jungeun supresses the chuckle threatening to escape her, causing her body to tremble along. She just ignores the look that the gray-haired driver gives her way, too elated to care about her surroundings.

[Jungeun]: what are the odds indeed

She stares at the '<3' emoji before her thumb taps on the backspace key almost instantly, replacing it with something less intimate.  _Maybe too soon for that..._

[Jungeun]: see u soon ^^

It is a well known fact that Haseul is not that good of a cook. Jungeun thinks that's how heaven keeps the balance in nature. Haseul is gifted with almost everything but the talent to make great food and maybe,  _maybe_ , the horizontal elevation on her physical. Despite that, she ticks off any other boxes such as:

☑ Beauty  
☑ Kindness  
☑ Intelligence  
☑ Leadership  
☑ Wealthness  
☑ Artistry talents (well, minus handiwork...)

Haseul is (almost,  _almost_ ) immaculate.

Jungeun puts her head against the headrest, smile still playing behind her black mask. Haseul is a special one and no one shall rebut that. And there's no room for Jungeun to question her willingness to taste Haseul's dishes as she is so focused on fixing their misunderstanding over any other matter.

Or is it  _Haseul_ over any other matter?

~

She glides her sweaty palms against her sweatpants, suddenly the sight of their dorm causes her anxiety to reach a new height. It is just their tiny leader, Haseul, behind that door so what is she being so nervous for? There's no possibility for her to get assaulted or murdered by that little angel so really, Jungeun has no reason to act all antsy. One deep breath and she keys in the password before pushing the door open in a careful manner. No sign of Haseul yet but weirdly, relief and disappointment are washing over her at the same time. Jungeun puts in an effort to shoo those feelings away with a shake of her head. _Be gone_. Using a hand to support herself against the cold wall, she takes one sneaker off her right foot.

"You're home." Jungeun's left sneaker dangles at the end of her foot awkwardly as she is stunned by the greeting, eyes so wide as she engages herself in an impromptu staring game with Haseul. The older girl is wearing a simple oversized white shirt with a pair of shorts, her usual outfit when she is lazing at home, and her hair is tied up in a messy bun. It is nothing out of the ordinary but for unknown reason, Jungeun's breath gets caught in her throat and she is looking no different than a fish being denied of its much needed H2O. Jungeun mentally blames it on Haseul's breathtaking smile (and eyes and face and voice and bedhair and li--).  _Damnit_.

Regaining whatever is left of her sanity, she let out a cough and shifts her gaze to the floor beneath her instead. "Yeah, I'm--  _home_." Jungeun tosses her sneaker away carelessly (the  _normal_  Jungeun is going to kill her for that) much to Haseul's amusement, before stepping inside of the apartment completely. She stops in a safe distance away from Haseul, forcing a small smile on her face to cover up her nervous state. The brunette can literally hear her own heart beating like mad in her ears.

"Right on time. I'm on my way to set the table."  _Set the table? Please don't light up no candles_. Haseul's smile looks calculated, like she is afraid of smiling too much. It is still beautiful to Jungeun nevertheless.  _Huh? Hold up right there_.

"Oh..." Jungeun nods eagerly, eyes darting around the space where her words are floating virtually in the air. "I can help?" She tilts her head.

"I don't think there's need for that." Her chuckle tickles Jungeun's ears softly and she is this close to losing her mind. _Seriously, what is happening?_ "Why don't you go change first?" The way Haseul's brown orbs move to scan her from head to toe makes Jungeun feels so small and she has the urge to go into hiding for the next four days.

"Good... idea." She mumbles absentmindedly, still lacking focus in general.

"Lippie...?" Jungeun is way too deep in her mind that she fails to notice Haseul inching closer, she stumbles back once Haseul's face enters her peripheral vision out of nowhere.

"Y- yeah?" She raises her eyebrows at Haseul.

"You not going to change?" Haseul is looking at her incredulously.

"Will do!" Jungeun straightens her back abruptly, a finger pointing at the direction of her shared bedroom with Chaewon. "On my way. I'll be quick." She shoots her a wide grin after that.

Jungeun is literally running to her bedroom (or is she running away from Haseul, she can't tell) before slamming the door behind her. Resting her lanky figure against the wooden barrier, Jungeun struggles to regulate her breathing. For heaven's sake, what is she being so frantic for? It almost feels like her body isn't hers, her brain isn't hers and her heart, oh her goddamn heart, isn't hers anymore. She is so desperate to get a grip on herself again.

After a quick wash and a change to a more comfortable outfit, Jungeun sees herself to a dinner she never dreamt of having when she first woke up this morning. Haseul is already at the dining table, occupied by something on her phone. Jungeun clears her throat softly, just enough to make her presence known.

"Oh? You're done." Haseul's eyes meet hers almost instantly and Jungeun suddenly having trouble to differentiate her right foot from the left. "I was afraid that the food would gone cold before you finish."

Jungeun chuckles awkwardly. "Yeah, sorry. It took me longer somehow..." She tried her best to get ready as soon as possible and  _s_ _omehow_ she managed to hit her head on the shower pole, almost falling to her butt due to the slippery floor, accidentally splashed the soapy water right into her eyes, stubbed her right toe on the bedpost and put her shirt on invertedly. _Yeah, somehow._ The series of events is enough of a proof on how her anxiety has officially kicked in full force.

"It's alright, I don't mind _waiting_." Haseul shoots her a smile as she takes her spot on the opposite of the former. "Anyway, I hope you didn't get your hope too high since I cooked nothing fancy..."

Jungeun let her eyes to scan the table and true enough, Haseul isn't lying about it being nothing too fancy. But the scale of her home cooked dinner is more than enough to feed their whole band members. "You sure you're not throwing a party?" She bites down on her tongue when she realizes that her filter is off with that one.

Haseul stares at her hard and Jungeun immediately questions her own IQ level (without knowing the correlation to it). But it's not long before the older girl breaks into a small laugh. "I admit this is a little too much." She gestures at the fully occupied table. "I had the thought to get rid of them... or maybe distribute it to every unit on this floor." Haseul looks back at her. "But luckily, I remember... about you..." Jungeun tries not to put too much concern to it when Haseul seems to fidget in her seat.

"I'm the _last_ option huh?" Jungeun jokes for the first time since she arrived back home.

For a split second, Jungeun thinks she spots something behind Haseul's eyes but it's gone as soon as it appears. "Does it matter now that you have all this in front of you?" The older girl returns her joke with another question, almost evading Jungeun's query on purpose. "Enough with the chit chat. Help yourself." Haseul motions for her to start eating.

Jungeun laughs airily before reaching for her chopsticks. The last time she actually permitted herself to consume something made by Haseul, she ended up with an upset stomach the next day. But of course, she let it be known to nobody. She have hope that Haseul may have step up her cooking skills since then. "Thank you for the food." Jungeun holds up what is going to be her first bite tonight, smiling at Haseul to deliver her gratefulness.

Haseul nods at that, she doesn't say anything afterwards but Jungeun can tell she is anticipating for her reaction. She starts with a slow munch, trying to savour the taste first and foremost. Her eyes divert back and forth between her plastic bowl and the black haired girl seated across her. Jungeun wanted to prolong Haseul's wait but the nervousness plastered on the latter's face beats her in her own game. "It's..." Jungeun continues to munch on the last bits. One big gulp and she stares at the dishes in front of her again. "Are you sure you cooked all this?"

Haseul frowns. "Yeah... is it that bad?" She bites on her lower lip (Jungeun unconsciously blinks faster to get rid of that image).

"No offense but..." She clears her throat. "... how did you make all this?" Jungeun makes a big movement to point at everything on the table. When she sees Haseul's puzzled expression, Jungeun had to laugh. "This is so good." She takes another huge bite to get her point across, her cheeks puff out like a chipmunk devouring its favorite nuts.

It takes her a while but Haseul eventually forms an 'o' with her mouth. "You could have spare me the suspense!" She whines but soon let a smile to decorate her face. "But that's only your first dish though..."

Jungeun just laughs (she laughs a lot more tonight compared to the last two days combined). "I'm not worried about the rest..." One more bite, one more smile. "... because I know I can trust _you_... r upgraded cooking skills through this alone."

Haseul drops her gaze to her laps. "I hope that's how it'd be..." She says so faintly, Jungeun had to restrain her ears to catch it.

Jungeun has always been one with immense appetite but good food makes it grow bigger and this is one of the instances. She reaches for more and doesn't forget to encourage Haseul to join her. "So, what's your secret to all this?" The brunette asks while munching on her dinner.

Haseul ponders for a bit. "Hm... Vivi might have given me some useful lessons and tips..."

Jungeun smirks playfully. "I knew it."

The unplanned dinner, as opposed to what Jungeun initially predicted, gone by quite well. They share a few good laughs and banter with each other. Jungeun also makes sure that her honest compliments about the food actually triumph over Haseul's self doubt on her supposed lacking cooking talent. It's quite a joyful night for her personally and Jungeun wishes the mealtime won't end as fast but she can only hope.

Jungeun is halfway back to her bedroom when Haseul's voice greets her again. "Lippie... wanna hang around... for a bit?" She asks from the confine of couch in their living room.

The younger girl blinks for a few seconds, brain struggling to process the invitation. "... Sure..." Jungeun withdraws her hand from the doorknob before making her way towards Haseul in a much jittery manner. Deep down she knows that this is not going to be a typical 'hang out session', Haseul is just using that term as a cover up.  _Communications is key, Jungeun_. Jungeun hesitantly plops herself down at the other end of the couch, creating an awkward looking gap in between them. "Uh... thanks for the meal again. It's marvelous." She starts slowly, half glancing at Haseul. Weird how within the last hours, it felt like nothing was wrong for the two but now they are suddenly back to square one. Jungeun is afraid that they might have been delaying from addressing the elephant in the room for far too long already. "You should cook more often."

"This is like the hundrenth time you say that." Haseul chuckles. "Question is, are you seriously willing to eat my cooking again?" Jungeun can see how Haseul has her eyes fixated on the television screen from her peripheral vision, maybe she is not the only one that is currently dealing with nervousness.

Jungeun hums lowly. "You won't need to ask."

Haseul shifts to face her, legs folding onto the couch comfortably. "You like my cooking that much huh?"

Jungeun spares the other girl a timid glance. "Haven't I make it obvious enough?"

"Wait, does it mean you _didn't_ like it before?" Haseul squints her tiny eyes a little bit too hard.

A trail of coughs escapes Jungeun forcefully. "It's not like that..."

Haseul's laugh flows out of her in a beautiful rhythm (is that even possible). "Just kidding. I'm aware how terrible I was."

"You're never terrible..." Jungeun tries to change Haseul's perspective but words get stuck down her throat again so she only falls into silence afterwards.

The way Haseul draws in a sharp breath makes Jungeun's heart pounding more than its normal rate. "Lippie... actually..." Her tone drops into a serious sounding one and Jungeun feels slightly uneasy because of that. "I've been doing a lot of thinking since... yesterday..."  _There it is_. "And I've made up my mind. What do you say if we... put everything behind us? And restart again?" Jungeun bears witness as Haseul is searching for her eyes.

She swipes her tongue on her dry lips. "Wha- what do you mean?" Jungeun can't hide her confusion at the sudden proposal.

Haseul rubs a palm on her nape, probably feeling torn than ever. Jungeun can't tell. "What I'm saying is that um... can we forget about _that_?" She whispers the second part faintly, as if she's going to break if she said it any louder. "And back to being friends again, like the old days?"

Jungeun feels a pang of daze hits her hard, all she is able to do is stare at Haseul like she has just come up with the most ridiculous proposition ever.

"Lippie?" Haseul waves her hand right in front of Jungeun's face to which the latter responds with a soft jerk, virtually pulling herself out of the alternate dimension. "I understand if you don't--"

"Wait." Jungeun stops her abruptly. She needs a moment to gather her thoughts again. Haseul is suggesting for them to look pass that incident and act like it never happened, is that it? That's basically asking her to reset her memory, can Jungeun ever forget something so big that easily? "Wh-- why? Are you sure about that?" This time, Haseul's brown eyes are all she can see.

Haseul let her fingers to dance with one another on her lap. "Yeah... I've think it through."

There's a low ringing in Jungeun's ears, steadily increasing as time lapse. How does she go around this question without sounding inconsiderate? "Are-- are you... are you going to be okay?"

When Haseul keeps mum, Jungeun feels regret creeping up on her in a rapid pace. She is about to apologize when Haseul opens her mouth again. "Don't worry about that, I can manage. I'll be just fine." She turns her head to send a smile at Jungeun's direction.

Logically, in a manner that is _supposed_ to make sense to Kim Jungeun, Haseul's white flag should be a major relief for her. Haseul volunteers to erase that memory from their shared diary so that they both can move on like the good friends they were, back to how they have always been in the good old days. But why does this feel like a twisted lost for her? Something doesn't sit right with her and Jungeun's head (and maybe heart too) is about to combust from too much thinking. "But I..."

"Do me a favour." That smile is still on her face, so soft looking yet gloomy in Jungeun's eyes. Jungeun feels something akin to pain down her chest and she is not even the one whom so willingly giving up on her feelings. It's Jo Haseul. Jungeun wonders just how bad the pain is on her end to finally push through with this. "Don't you ever, like  _ever_ , feel sorry for me." Her final resolve is clear in that one and Jungeun is further stunned.

"Why you do this...?" It's almost like she is directing that question more to herself than to Haseul.

Haseul's laugh sounds dry. "Either this or I lose the friend that I had in you." The ringing gets louder and slowly deafening Jungeun, she whips her head away in an attempt to make it stop. "So, what do you say?" Friendship over personal importance, Haseul is really doing this.

"I..." Jungeun shuts her eyes to get a clearer view on the inside of her thinking process, all she sees is a jumble of mess. "... if you say so." She meets Haseul's eyes, a smile too wide it almost splits her face into two.

" _Great_." Haseul mirrors her smile and Jungeun's subconscious mind hates the connotation behind it. "And thank you." Haseul giving up her feelings creates a shortcut for Jungeun to reach her goal on recovering her friendship with the former. But this isn't how she imagined the success would feel like, hollow and empty.

A harsh vibration from inside of her pocket causes Jungeun to jump in her seat. She pulls her phone out and taps on the green button swiftly out of habit.  _"Hey sweetie! Oh! Is that--"_  Jinsoul's face pops out of nowhere and Jungeun scrambles to turn the video call off. She turns her head towards Haseul in a sharp manner and the surprise coloring the older girl's face is unmistakable. The confusion and shock are shining brightly behind Haseul's eyes.

"I... I'll be right back." She points at her bedroom door before running towards it, not sparing another look at Haseul. Out of so many hours in a day, why now?  _Ugh, Jinsoul_. As she has expected, Jinsoul rings her phone again. "What?" She whispers angrily despite having the door closed. Jinsoul's preferred means of communication irks her sometimes. ' _Can't miss your default annoyed expression_ ' she used to say. Jinsoul is a sweet and gentle person right until Ha Sooyoung shows up in her life. Seems like Sooyoung has successfully recruited her as her own little spawn of satan.

 _"Did you just hang up on me?"_ Her sister quirks an eyebrow, voice short of nothing but offense. _"Huh."_

"Well, bad timing." Jungeun rolls her eyes. "And stop calling me that every single time."

 _"_ That _what?"_ She sees Jinsoul's eyebrows slant downwards. _"Oh..."_ She smirks.

"Don't even think about it." Jungeun grits her teeth.

 _"Sweetie~"_ She proceeds to cackle.  _"Soo, look at Jungie being a whiny baby again."_ She looks at somewhere off screen.

"I swear to God if you don't stop-" She huffs to calm herself down. "Ugh, whatever."

 _"What you so mad for?"_ Jinsoul asks in wonder.  _"Ah... because I interrupt your date with Haseul huh?"_ She laughs out loud.

Jungeun puts a hand over the speaker. "Shut up, you're being loud." Her mind travels back to the talk they had a while ago and she frowns at it.  "And it's not a date..."

 _"You're such a cute gay."_ Another voice joins them and Jungeun drops her head in defeat.  _Great_.

Jungeun sighs. "If there's nothing important, I'm hangi-"

 _"Wait!"_ Both Jinsoul and Sooyoung stop her from ending the call.  _"I'm calling you with purpose."_

"Doubt it's anything relevant." Jungeun glances at the clock on her bedside table, it has been five minutes since she left Haseul by herself.

 _"Listen first will you."_ Her sister reprimands her. _"Anyway, Soo came up with an idea."_

"I told you I want no more of Ha Sooyoung's ideas." Jungeun tries to dismiss her. "I had enough."

 _"Jungeun, come on."_ Sooyoung takes the baton from Jinsoul.  _"This is going to be fun."_

"No."

_"Pleaseeeee."_

"Nuh-"

 _"You don't love me do you?"_ Jinsoul's pout is so exaggerated, Jungeun can almost see it coming off the screen.

"Don't use that on me." She rolls her eyes.

 _"..."_ The blonde says nothing but her sulky face speaks louder than words.

"Ugh." Jungeun kicks the air in frustration. "Fine, what is it?"

That successfully lights up her sister's face again, it's like looking at a before and after comparison in real time.  _"How does a road trip sound to you?"_

"Wha..." Jungeun is so unimpressed by the idea that she ends up staring at the screen with a total blank face.

 _"We plan on going on a road trip tomorrow and since your break won't end until the weekend, why not invite you to join us yeah? The more the merrier!"_ Sooyoung explains in excitement.  _"Come on, Jungeun. Stop being a homebody for once."_

"Tomorrow is too sudden..." Jungeun blinks. "And I don't want to leave Haseul alone."

 _"Ask her to come along!"_ Jinsoul encourages her.

"What? You out of your mind?" Her eyebrows almost knitted together.

 _"It will be fun!"_ Jinsoul looks so thrilled and that is something so distant in Jungeun's memory.

And somehow Jungeun finds herself in another lengthy argument with the persistent couple. She keeps an eye on the time and it takes her 20 minutes to finally leave her room. This time she makes sure to abandon her phone on the bed, no more possible interference from her sister and her girlfriend. Haseul is still there, half laying on her back against the couch.

Now the question is how is she going to ask Haseul without sounding like a complete moron? She knows she is going to regret this later, somehow Jinsoul and Sooyoung always manage to make it worse for her. She sees no reason for this to be any different but Jinsoul actually uses her older sister power (does that even work in this case) to make Jungeun consider joining. Jungeun rejoins Haseul who has her eyes glued to the screen, some movie that Jungeun doesn't care about is playing.

"You're not asleep yet?" She asks without warning which causes Haseul to startle. "Sorry." Jungeun whispers in the passing.

Haseul puts a hand over her chest before letting her lips to curl upwards. "Yeah... I'm not sleepy yet." Jungeun clears her throat while unconsciously fidgeting in her seat. "Is everything okay?" Haseul's attention is on her now, all she need to do is ask her the question.

"Yes, everything is okay." She grins awkwardly.  _But seriously, how?_

If Haseul isn't convinced, she doesn't show it. "Alright..." Haseul sinks back into her previous position. "Can I ask you something?"

Haseul is about to start a Q&A session, maybe she can snatch this opportunity to voice out her own. "Yeah, sure. What is it?"

The older girl seems antsy, biting on her lower lip while letting her gaze to linger on her own fingers. "Um earlier..." She stops as if taking her time to construct the question properly. "... that person, is that your... uh..."

A crease appears on Jungeun's pale forehead. "... My what?"

"Y'know is that your... special someone?" Haseul is gritting on her rows of teeth afterwards and Jungeun can't get anymore dumbfounded than this.

"Special someone?" She almost snickers at that implication but soon let an absurd laugh to escape her still. "Where did you get that idea?" She tilts her head to have a better look at Haseul.  _That is ridiculous_.

"Why are you laughing like that?" Haseul widens her eyes at Jungeun's reaction. "She did call you  _sweetie_ though, that's why I asked." Jungeun stares as Haseul pulls a corner of her lips downwards. "Why are you looking at me like that? It's okay if you don't want to share. I'm just _asking_." Haseul proceeds to fold her arms across her chest in a defensive manner, looking away from Jungeun swiftly.

Jungeun's laugh subsides into a chuckle before a virtual lightbulb suddenly appears right above her head. "I'm not gonna answer straight away."

"Huh, why is that?" Haseul still has her head turned away from Jungeun.

"I'm gonna introduce you to her." Jungeun successfully makes Haseul face her again.

"Say what?" The black haired girl looks astonished.

Jungeun decides to do it the copy-paste way. " _How does a road trip sound to you?_ "

 

\----------

 

"Vivi is so going to kill us for this." The girl trailing behind speaks up. "When you said road trip, I didn't think we'd do it the next day." She stops abruptly, catching on her much needed breath.

"You told her?" The brunette turns around to check on the other. "She can't kill us, this is me putting her advice 'to go outside' into practice." She laughs airily when she spots how beaten the girl appears to be. "We haven't started yet and you're already looking like a mess."

"I sent her a text message before we left, she hasn't read it yet... thankfully. But, good for you I guess..." Haseul frowns. "And excuse me, whose bright idea was it to travel via subway so early in the morning like this?"

"More like, whose bright idea was it to bring a bigass luggage to a road trip like that?" She points at the four wheels mint colored bag before creating a virtual link towards Haseul's direction.

"Hey!" Haseul stomps her feet against the pavement in protest. "It's last minute and this is all I have." She grunts in annoyance.

Jungeun laughs at the older girl's antics before shaking her head slowly. "Yeah,  _that_ and that creepy looking animal you call bag."

"It's a red panda, not a creepy looking animal!" Jungeun can't see her full face, but Haseul's eyes are enough to convey just how offended she is right now.

"Yeah, yeah." Jungeun spins on her heel, falling into steps towards the subway. "Come on, we're running late." Jungeun asked her sister to meet them at the next stop as they are already near that area and this will save them more time. It is moment like this that she appreciates waking up early in the dawn, more time means more things to experience. But that doesn't seem to be the case for Jo Haseul.

"Hey, wait for me!" Haseul whines, the luggage is slowing her down by at least tenfold.

Jungeun stops in her tracks and let out a soft sigh. She turns around once more before taking a few solid stride towards Haseul. "Give me that." In a swift motion, the luggage finds a new hand to secure it.

"Wha--"

Jungeun starts walking without another word. The luggage is not even that heavy and that makes Jungeun cries internally.  _Just how weak this girl is?_ She wonders if Haseul can survive living on her own but then remembers that the older girl is already residing so far away from her family. That is amazing and admirable, no further question.  _But still, just how weak this girl is?_  Years of knowing her, yet Jungeun still gets baffled at both quality and not-so-quality (she refrains herself from calling it flaw, Haseul has no business with flaw) traits that Haseul possesses. Jungeun makes a mental note to keep a close eye on her, her band can't afford to lose their leader in a supposedly harmless road trip.

It doesn't take them long to reach their destination despite a few minor hiccups along the way. Haseul worried a lot before departing, reasoning that it has been ages since she last commute through a public transport. Jungeun reassured her that she will lead them safely, her experience recording a variety show a few months ago where she had to deal with subways eventually come in handy. They got into the train and another issue errupted. A creepy looking lad sent a couple of questionable looks at Haseul's direction which somehow agitated Jungeun. The younger girl was about to fight the guy but Haseul managed to pull her back into her seat and asked her to calm down since that could cost them being exposed. Despite Haseul's protest, Jungeun insisted on leaving her seat to stand in front of her instead, which efficiently blocked the girl from his vision. It's a wonder that they managed to find the correct stop and get out of the station safe and sound.

"There they are." Jungeun points at the direction of a four-wheel drive, where a familiar pair is leaning against. It's so easy to pick out the shimmering golden from the vast. She is about to move when Haseul tugs on her shirt out of nowhere. "What?" She turns around to see a nervous looking Haseul.

"These friends of yours? I never met them." She says, not quite meeting Jungeun's eyes.

"Um actually..." Jungeun tilts her head in question. "Are you freaking out?" She forms a small smile.

"Freaking out? No, no. I'm just..." Haseul sighs. "... what if I give a bad first impression? What if they don't like me? What if I say something stupid? What if I make them uncomfortable? What if--"

"Haseul." Jungeun grips on the older girl's arms to keep her still, gesturing her to take a deep breath. "They gonna like you so don't worry about that. Even if you did anything from that list, I'm sure they still gonna like you. If not, I'll personally  _make_  them."

"How can you be so sure?" The nerve still hasn't quite left her eyes.

"Because how can anyone  _not_  like you?" Jungeun speaks, voice louder and firmer. "Even I--" Something struck her brain so hard that her tongue goes numb. Jungeun forces her eyes to wander around, avoiding Haseul's gaze. "... Conclusion is don't worry okay?" She let go of Haseul to collect the luggage again. "Passerby would have thought that you're meeting your future parents in-law."

Jungeun just walks forward without sparing another glance at the other girl, she can tell that Haseul is following her closely from the shadows formed at the base of her feet. The ringing in her ears comes back and Jungeun is struggling to fight it off in silence.  _Make it stop._

"Jungie, sweetie!" Jinsoul comes running for her instead of waiting for her to arrive. She locks their arms together, grinning wide. "I missed you!"

"Geez, we just met the other day." Jungeun whispers, just enough for her sister to hear. "And what did I say about calling me that?" She glances at Haseul and finds the girl looking confused and so out of place. Subtly, she shrugs Jinsoul off her.

"Oh, God." Sooyoung pushes herself off the car before rushing towards them. "Introduction time?"

Jungeun stares at Haseul briefly to reassure her. "Haseul, this is Jinsoul and this is Yves." She points at the two respectively. Jinsoul offers the girl a handshake which she takes with slight tremble. "And it's not like she needs any intro but this is Haseul." Jungeun gestures at the said girl.

"It's not Yves, it's Sooyoung." Sooyoung has a big wide smile on her face and it's quite a rare sight for Jungeun. "And the disrespect." The older glares at her. "You mean this is  _The_  Haseul."

"Uh..." Jungeun quirks an eyebrow.

"I'm a big fan of yours." Sooyoung announces in a heartbeat, enveloping her hand around Haseul's before shaking it with visible amount of eagerness. "You're such a great leader for LUNA. Definitely my favorite in the group." She has twinkles in her eyes and that's creeping Jungeun out. "Your vocal is out of this world. No, I meant _universe_."

"Oh, that's too much compliments but thank you..." Haseul nods repeatedly in... embarrassment? Jungeun isn't sure but her voice does sound like it which is weird since Haseul has been dealing with mass of fans for years, each time with overflowing confidence.

"Hello?" Jungeun waves her hand right in front of Sooyoung to gain her attention. "I wasn't aware of that?" She widens her eyes.

"Do I need to tell you everything?" Sooyoung sends her a look that says 'mind your own business'.

"Guys, enough. Before this gets too far." Jinsoul the peacemaker interjects and separates the two.

Jungeun can feel Haseul tugging on her jacket. She leans in closer to hear what the girl has to say. "That girl?" Haseul has her index finger pointing at Jinsoul. "Isn't she... _that_ Jung Jinsoul?"

"Ah..." She clears her throat. "Soul." She calls out for her sister who whips her head at her almost instantly. "Um, you are right. This is  _that_  Jung Jinsoul." Jungeun gives the girl the confirmation.

"Jinsoul that popular ex trainee--" Haseul cups her clothed mouth. "Sorry."

"Yes, Jinsoul the ex trainee." Jinsoul beams at Haseul. "Still remember me yeah?"

"Oh my God, it's been so long." Now, Haseul looks excited. "You're so much prettier now." A drastic change in her mood but Jungeun isn't complaining. "I didn't know you and Lippie are friends."

"Friends?" Jinsoul has a puzzled expression plastered on her face.

"Oh, you two are not friends...?" The smallest among them shifts her gaze back and forth between the two girls.

"No...?" Jinsoul snickers.

"Actually--"

Haseul cuts her off before she can save her from further guessing. "So, you two are..." The black-haired girl proceeds to move her index fingers closer together to imply the idea that she has in her mind.

"What?" Jinsoul laughs, clearly finding the insinuation ridiculous. "Jungie didn't tell you anything?"

"I'm trying to." Jungeun huffs loudly.

"Alright, you do that. Meanwhile we gonna get your bags in the trunk." Sooyoung clasps her hands together while shooting a knowing look at her girlfriend. "But Jungeun... a luggage? Seriously?" The tallest looks at Jungeun with so much judgment.

"Uh... it's not mine." She sends a signal using her eyes, moving them just enough to point at the real owner.

Sooyoung grins awkwardly. "Oh." She chuckles, it sounds flat though. "Luggages provide you with more space, that's honestly brilliant. How come I never think about bringing one? Or two? Or even better, twelve? Hm maybe next time? Here, give that to me." She snatches the handle from Jungeun before rolling it away along with her.

Haseul is definitely waiting for the two to be out of earshots before she confront Jungeun again. "Okay, tell me what?"

Jungeun heaves a very deep breath. "Um don't freak out but... Jinsoul is my sister."

Haseul does the total opposite. "Your sister?!"

"Shh." She puts a finger just above Haseul's mask to hush her down. "Yeah, she is my sister. Not by blood though, I'm... adopted." Jungeun speaks in a quite volume.

Haseul is obviously struggling to grasp at the newfound information, she stares at Jungeun with so many questions behind her eyes. "You never told us... me..." She looks down at her sneakers briefly before flashing the other girl a trembling smile afterwards. "But I'm glad you did now."

Jungeun rubs on her nape to ease her nerve. "I... just prefer not to talk about it. Not that I'm ashamed of it or anything, it just doesn't feel like it matters after so long."

"Are you okay with telling me this?" Haseul asks in a very soft tone, for the first time Jungeun almost can't feel the weight of that topic on her.

"Yeah... I don't tell many people. Actually, no one really... but I trust you so..." She lowers her head, feeling so small for unknown reason. Haseul might change her opinion on her after this revelation.

Against her better judgment, Haseul reaches for her hand and hold onto it with so much warmth. "You trust me, that's a big thing." Her smile is still playing on her lips. "And I mean it, I'm glad you did this even though you're not obliged to do it in the first place." The warmth spreads all the way to her heart.

Jungeun stares at the delicate hand holding onto hers. "Won't you be thinking any less of me?" Her voice quivers.

Haseul's little chuckle tickles her ears. "Why would I?"

"I don't know... maybe I look pitiful?" Jungeun whispers.

Haseul's hold on her only gets tighter and it's so hard for Jungeun to ignore. "Don't be ridiculous." Jungeun is experiencing mixed feelings that she can't put into words. _These ringings need to stop_. "It doesn't change a thing okay? If anything it just makes me..." Haseul pauses and she had to look up to check on her. "It just makes you more special... to me." Jungeun can see Haseul swallows a huge lump down her throat but her smile remain lighting up her whole face.

Jungeun finds herself drowning in Haseul's brown pools, unconsciously returning the hold with the same intensity. "Thank you." She says briefly but it contains so much than what she let on.

"No." Haseul shakes her head. "Thank  _you_ , for trusting me."

 

\----------

 

Jungeun still remembers the day she got casted by the company, eight months after her sister Jinsoul did. The older had already been the talk among trainees and staffs alike that Jungeun couldn't help but feel pressured and maybe a slight envy. They both agreed not to announce their relation in fear of Jungeun being an easy target of bullies. That pact worked to lift some of the load off Jungeun and she went through her training without having the 'sister to the all-rounded trainee' label attached on her. She was proud of Jinsoul of course, but her sister had always been the better one among them since they were children and Jungeun strived to surpass her on this area no matter what. Jungeun slowly climbed up the list and after much hard work she managed to place herself as one of the preferred trainees to debut. Along the way, she saw Haseul for the first time during one of the evaluation weeks. Jungeun was quickly drawn in by Haseul's enchanting voice and persona that the girl somehow became her source of motivation to keep on going with the grueling training period.

The said debut was around the corner when a shocking news hit the entire body of trainees and staffs, and Jungeun was no exception. Jinsoul was announced to have departed the company, contract terminated with no reason stated. Jungeun later learned from Jinsoul that she was given the ultimatum after their company found out about her relationship with a girl that goes by Yves and Jinsoul chose to leave instead of giving in to the company's demand for her to cut the tie off. It was a ridiculous situation to Jungeun, regarding Jinsoul's act as foolish and she couldn't help but blame Yves as the root to Jinsoul starved dream. As quickly as her attraction to Haseul came, she tucked her admiration away and vowed to not let feelings get the better of her and ruin it for her too. No more Haseul for her afterwards. That was until she was announced to debut alongside five other girls and Jungeun wasn't sure if it's her luck or a pure bad spell but Haseul's name was there too, two rows above hers in the list.

Jungeun stares at the girl from her peripheral vision, she is so immersed in enjoying the view outside of the window, gasping once in a while when she finds anything interesting. It's impossible to keep Haseul away so Jungeun kept her closer but the revelation from months back is still very much in her head, loud and clear. Up until this moment there's only one question that keeps repeating itself for her, _after all these years_   _what are the odds?_

"Our first destination will be... babe, drumrolls please." Sooyoung requests to Jinsoul and the blonde creates a drum noise playfully. "Rest stop!" They both cheer out loud, wide smiles remain on their faces afterwards. Jungeun stops hating on Yves (or Sooyoung, as the girl herself asked to be called because Jungeun is Jinsoul's beloved sister and Jinsoul is her beloved girlfriend) after she sees just how much the other makes her sister happy. Jinsoul is glowing whenever she is with her and it is such a wonderful sight to Jungeun, something she will never admit out in the open. At least not to Sooyoung herself, feeding her ego is the last thing Jungeun wants to do.

"Of course, food will always be your priority." Jungeun rolls her eyes.

"Don't act like food is not your priority too, Jungie!" Jinsoul sing sang and Jungeun snickers at that. She spots Haseul giggling with no sound too and she absentmindedly smiles.

They get off Sooyoung's 4WD after reaching the rest stop safely. "Make sure to lock it before you leave!" Sooyoung tosses her keys to Jungeun. Both her and Jinsoul sprint off to the food court almost immediately, leaving both Jungeun and Haseul behind. The former tuck the band to her mask behind her ears lazily while Haseul already has it on the moment Sooyoung swerves the car into the place.

"Jinsoul and Sooyoung, are they...?" Jungeun glances to her left and sees Haseul tilting her head.

"Girlfriends? Yeah." She smiles albeit it goes unnoticed to Haseul.

"No wonder, they are so cute together!" The girl exclaims and somehow Jungeun can see the smile flashing in her eyes. _You are cute yourself_. "How long have they been together?"

"Uh... 4? 5 years? I'm not quite sure myself." Jungeun shrugs but the joy that has been emitting from Haseul is infecting her in one way or another.

Haseul nods in acknowledgement. "Wow, that's so long..." She scratches the top of her head. "I'm being nosy huh?"

"Nah, you are not." Jungeun denies it almost instantly. "I don't get to talk about my sister a lot especially regarding her relationship, so this is... refreshing."

"Good then." Haseul giggles. "Jinsoul looks so happy, Sooyoung must have done the right thing."

"I used to disapprove of their relationship, so did my family..." Jungeun trails off, walking down the memory lane briefly. "But then I realized that Soul is the happiest when she's with Soo and she deserves that more than anything else."

"Ah..." Haseul clears her throat nervously. "How about your family?"

That question causes a gloom to appear on Jungeun's face. "They are not on the same page as me, it's better now but they still refused to welcome Soo warmly. Soul takes offense from that of course." Jungeun sighs deeply. "And I'm not really on speaking terms with my parents, just keeping my stance."

"I'm sorry to hear that..." Haseul slows down her pace, trying to offer some sort of physical comfort to Jungeun but the latter sees her backing off at the last minute.

"Nothing to be sorry about." Jungeun takes the initiative to shove on Haseul's shoulders playfully. "Let's just say that I don't have great memories of my parents either."

"Ow." Haseul rubs on her shoulder, she gives a fistful to Jungeun in return. "But still, I'm sorry you two have to go through that." Jungeun snickers before she finds herself reaching for the crown of Haseul's head. She ruffles on her dark silky hair to create a mess that Haseul didn't see coming. "Lippie!" Haseul shouts in reflex, thankfully the rest stop is almost vacant during that time so no one pay them any mind.

"Last to arrive have to pay!" She takes off without doubt, leaving only dust for Haseul to deal with.

"You're cheating!" Haseul's voice fades away in the background for Jungeun as she runs away, laugh escaping her at every step she takes.

Maybe the ringing inside of her head isn't an entirely bad thing to have.

 

\----------

 

"Where are we headed honestly?" Jungeun let out the question that has been nagging at the back of her mind since half an hour ago, when all she can see around her is nothing but green.

"Uh... I don't know, maybe the countryside? Just following my gut feelings." Sooyoung shrugs, having only one hand to maneuver the steering.

Jungeun automatically leans forward at the answer. "What do you mean gut feelings? Have you no plans?" She looks back and forth between the two at the front seat.

"Road trip is supposed to be like that, Jungie." Jinsoul smiles brightly to reassure her but Jungeun is not sold on that one.

"You actually trust Soo like that? What if we get lost?" Jungeun huffs audibly.

"Duh, of course she trusts me." Sooyoung snickers.

"I trust my life with you, babe." There are twinkles behind the blonde's eyes as she smiles sweetly at the driver.

Jungeun jerks away from the couple. "Ugh, ew." She sinks back into her seat dejectedly.

"Now just chill will you, take Haseul as an example." Jinsoul says simply.

Jungeun glances at the girl in question, her head is bobbing up and down as she appears to be seconds away from the dreamland. She just cackles at the _almost_ adorable sight before turning her head away to continue with her little search for any sign of civilization. Less than two minutes later, she feels a sudden weight on her left shoulder and bless her silent reflex for saving her from screaming out loud due to surprise. Jungeun inspects from the corner of her eyes and sees Haseul sleeping soundly while using her shoulder as a makeshift pillow. She clears her throat softly in what could be deemed as a half-hearted effort to wake the girl up but Haseul only snuggles closer and Jungeun instinctively gulps at that. The brunette looks up when she feels eyes on her and immediately spots her sister smirking at her.

"What?" Jungeun mouths, using her facial muscles in replace of her voice to convey her annoyance.

"How you enjoying the road trip so far?" Her sister wiggles her eyebrows teasingly.

"Shut up." Jungeun hisses and that seems to cause Haseul to stir in her sleep. Jungeun quickly ceases her movements and holds her breath in. She finds relief once Haseul relax and goes back into a deep slumber. "This is all your fault." She mouths again but it only encourages Jinsoul to laugh at the unfortunate (it's the opposite for Jungeun, really) occurence.

"Babe, let's not rush yeah? Let Jungeun have her moment." Jinsoul puts a hand on Sooyoung's arm.

The girl chuckles, eyes focused on the road. "Gotcha, hon."

Jungeun rolls her eyes, maybe she should reconsider about approving Sooyoung as her sister's girlfriend. There's a risk that things may get nastier for her if they ever get married (not that they are not behaving like one already), living in hell would probably have nothing on them. She falls into silence afterwards, unintentionally giving a listen to Haseul's calm breathing. This is the first time she has ever had a sleeping Haseul so close to her. Sure, they used to spend a lot of time together to the point of snuggling against each other with no regards to spaces whatsoever before, but Haseul has never ever fell asleep beside her like this. She can't say the same about herself, she lost count on how many times Haseul had to deal with a sleeping Kim Jungeun. Jungeun learns to appreciate the way Haseul's figure rising and deflating at every breath she takes and after a few moments, Jungeun finds herself matching her own rhythm with Haseul's.  _Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale._  Slipping into a state of tranquillity that she never knew exists, Jungeun decides it's not so bad to have Haseul much more  _closer_  to her like this. She can almost feel Haseul's heartbeats against her arm and that idea gives her a run of chills down her spine. Jungeun barely registers the fact that the ringing inside of her head is not as disturbing anymore, maybe Haseul has singlehandedly articulate it into a soothing _melody_ instead.

When she leaves the darkness and let the light to greet her eyes again, Jungeun had to narrow them to a bare minimum almost immediately. She puts a hand over her eyes to shield them from the blinding ray of sunshine before slowly readjusting her sight to her environment again.

"You're awake." A voice jolts her up and with a whip of her head, Jungeun spots Haseul's face a few inches away from her and it causes her to scoots away from the girl in panic. Haseul only directs a laugh at her as a respond. 

"Wha- what happened? Where are we?" Jungeun scans around in panic. "Where's Soul? Soo?" Her eyes widen as she can't spot the two anywhere near her.

"Lippie, relax. You were asleep earlier." Haseul drops a hand on her shoulder to stop her from moving around. "We are at the campsite." The older girl pats at the area a couple of times before retreating her hand. "Both Jinsoul and Sooyoung are setting up the tents right now and I stay back to keep an eye on you until you wake up."

"Oh." Jungeun relax her muscles at the explanation, a sigh of relief escapes her at the same time. That is, until it finally hits her still drowsy mind. "Campsite you say?!" She sits up straight, staring at Haseul in silent plea for the other girl to tell her 'you heard it wrong'.

"Yup, campsite." Haseul nods while smiling widely.

"How- they must be out of their mind. They never mentioned about any campsite." Jungeun mumbles to herself, she can see Haseul looking at her in concern from the corner of her eyes. "I need to talk to them." She waste no time to free herself from the car and goes down a random path without actual knowledge on Jinsoul and Sooyoung's whereabouts. But luck is totally on her side when she spots the familiar golden 100 centimetres away from where she is standing. "Soul! Soo!" She screams out to gain their attention. "What are you guys doing?!"

Jinsoul rises to her feet before clapping the dirt away from her hands. "Uh... preparing our tents?"

"Waking up in the middle of nowhere is certainly not what I signed up for." Jungeun's eyes are almost as big as a golf ball. "Where did you even get those tents?"

"It's Ha Sooyoung, name it and I have it." Sooyoung looks at her with so much judgment. "Were you having a nightmare earlier?"

Jungeun gives her a sign to stop messing around, she pulls on her hair to express her frustration. "No. _This_ is nightmare. What is this place?" The brunette gestures at her surrounding. "Is it even safe to be here?"

"What has gotten into this kid..." Jinsoul is looking at Haseul for any kind of answer but it's clear that the girl also has no clue on why Jungeun is panicking like that. "Look, Jungie. It's safe here yeah? Trust me."

"Why should I trust you?" Jungeun narrows her eyes at her sister.

"Uh..." Jinsoul blinks rapidly, obviously caught off guard by her reaction.

"We probably gonna get killed by wild animals o- or from coldness or-- lose our way in here or--"

"For heaven's sake, it's safe." Sooyoung sighs heavily.

"Don't. Cut. Me. Off." Jungeun lifts another hand sign to get her point across. "Where was I..."

"Lippie." A soft warm hand suddenly slides itself right into her trembling palm and Jungeun glances over her shoulder to find Haseul standing close to her, almost no distance left between them. "I've checked and this campsite is legit. We're still within reach if anything happen." Haseul shares her own findings in a calm manner. "So, it _is_ safe. Don't worry okay?"

Jungeun stays rooted to the ground, not moving an inch and her eyes are deep into Haseul's. She finds nothing but assurance there and an actual sigh of relief finally escapes her. "O- okay..." She hears Sooyoung snorting behind her and Jinsoul not missing a beat to mumble 'freaking  _whipped_ '.

In the last 20 minutes, she has grunt for at least 12 times to express just how annoyed she is after being forced to gather some firewoods with Sooyoung. That makes an average of approximately a grunt at every two minutes.  _How nice_. Haseul and Jinsoul are given the task to finish up the tents or to be exact _two_ tents (Jungeun can sense a scheme when she was told about it, there's no way she can escape being in the same one as Haseul) and Jungeun has a bad feeling about being separated away from her leader but she can't actually say anything about it. The contrasting stark between her sweaty body and the chilly air around the site makes it quite unpleasant for her. Another stick joins the bundle in her hand quickly earns another grunt from her.

" _'Lippie...'_ " The older one makes a noise that sounds a lot like mocking. Jungeun doesn't respond and choose to ignore her. " _'It is safe so don't worry okay?'_ " Looks like she is not stopping anytime soon. "Gosh, you were losing your mind back there and Haseul just needed to cast a spell and poof suddenly you got your shit together." Sooyoung laughs her head off.

"I'd appreciate it if you can shut your mouth." Jungeun says monotonously.

"And lose the chance to make a point? Yeah, hell nah." Sooyoung snickers.

"The only point I see here is this pointy stick that I'm about to shove up your ass if you keep talking." She waves the said stick around in what is supposed to be a terrifying stance.

Sooyoung only guffaws. "Oh, kinky." She winks. "But no thanks, Soul would kill both of us." The girl holds up both of her hands in front of her. "Kinky aside, I think it's about time you drop the oblivious act around Haseul."

That struck a nerve but Jungeun is far from giving Sooyoung the leeway to talk about that matter. "I'm an idol, not an actress so... not sure what act you blabbering about."

"C'mon Jungeun." Sooyoung drops her secured bundle onto the ground. "How long do you plan to stay in hiding?" She can't decide which one she hates more; Sooyoung, when she is being annoying or Sooyoung, when she is acting her age. But for now, her vote is on the latter.

"But I'm not hiding anything?" Jungeun points at herself defensively.

Sooyoung shakes her head. "You not telling Haseul your true feelings  _is_  you not hiding anything? Sounds about _right_." She rolls her eyes.

Jungeun stares at her. "Okay, maybe stop beating around the bush? If not, I'm going back to the site." She is about to walk away when Sooyoung speaks in a much quieter voice.

"It was tough, when Jinsoul first told me that she was made to choose between me and her long time dream. I kept convincing her to go for the obvious choice and I swear my heart broke every time but it'd be selfish of me to ask her to abandon her hard work wouldn't it?"

Jungeun drops her gaze towards the dried leaves beneath her sneakers, encountering this side of Sooyoung is a first for her. 

"She never said anything back tho, she just looked at me with those eyes and I made sure to keep that in my memory as much as possible because I believed any moment could be the last time I'd be with her."

Jungeun is never an expert when it comes to matter of hearts but she is trying her best to understand every anecdote coming from Sooyoung.

"Did you know how much I was about to combust when she came crying at me one day and I deadass thought 'this is it, this is the end' but then she went around and said she chose me? I mean I know she's not the brightest one around but that's pretty dumb even for her standard ain't it? From that day onwards I knew it'd never be easy for us, well it still is... but I try my best to make sure she knows my heart too, as much as I can because she already expressed hers in the most unthinkable way."

Jungeun runs her hand through her tousled hair.  _Ugh_. She makes a mental note to go for ponytail later.

"Look, of course I'm not expecting it to be the same for everyone but... don't you think Haseul deserves to know the truth? I'm not suggesting that you should go confess to her this minute and establish a relationship the next. But at least spare her from being kept in the dark for God knows how long and in a way maybe, _maybe_ , it'd help you to free yourself from further worries and guilt." Despite all that, Sooyoung still appears rather calm than dictating.

Jungeun chuckles. "She gave up."

"Sorry?" Sooyoung tilts her head in confusion.

"She told me she is willing to give up on her feelings for the sake of our friendship." Jungeun says in a low voice.

There's a pregnant of pause afterwards before Sooyoung finally responds. "I see..." It's obvious she doesn't see that coming.

"That's great right? Means that I won't have to think and worry about it anymore." She kicks on the leaves, tearing them apart in the process.

"Are you?" Sooyoung throws a question that hits harder than it should be.

She smiles bitterly. "I end up being haunted by it day and night." One heavy breath and Jungeun moves again to track back to their campsite.

"So it doesn't mean you have to give up too, right?" Sooyoung speaks again but Jungeun just leaves the question hanging in the cold air.

When she reaches her destination, Jungeun spots both Haseul and Jinsoul sitting side by side on a dead tree trunk and she plans for a surprise entrance. So, she carefully treads the ground, forcing herself to create zero noise to the two. Jungeun stays behind a tree to calculate her next step but their chatter piques her interest instead.

"... I remember that! Oh my gosh, it was crazy." Haseul laughs her heart out, it's always nice to see the girl enjoying her time. "You're so great, I imagine you'd take over the whole country if you actually debuted." So, they are catching up on each other.

Jinsoul snickers. "Well, that will remain as pure imagination now yeah?" She sighs.

"Oh God, sorry! Did I hit a sore spot..." Haseul drops her head.

"What? No, no! Of course not!" Jinsoul smacks on the girl's arm playfully. "That time is in the past for me now." She chuckles.

Haseul is probably trying to reorganize herself because she only stays muted after that. Maybe it takes her a solid minute, Jungeun doesn't count, but Haseul eventually speaks again. "Is it okay...? If I ask about... that?"

Jinsoul tilts her head, Jungeun can picture the puzzled look on her sister's face. "What do you mean? Like do you wanna know why I quit?"

Haseul shrugs. "Something like that...? Tell me if you're uncomfortable--"

"Nah." Jinsoul shifts her gaze to the sky, as if recollecting her long abandoned history from there. "I'm not sure if it's a fact but I've heard at some point in your life, you'd reach a junction where you have to choose between love and dream." She whips her head towards Haseul. "Mine came a little bit too early." Jungeun can hear her laughs airily after that. "I doubted myself at first but I never regret once."

Haseul meets the blonde eyes right then, her gaze is gloomy. "That... that's so brave of you. I wish I had the tiniest portion of your courage..." Her voice goes quiet.

"Why? You having any dilemma?" Jinsoul puts a hand on Haseul's back.

Jungeun can see her shoulders tremble but hear no sound. "... You can say so."

That answer tugs on Jungeun's frail heart string.

Later that night, Jungeun lays wide awake on her side of the tent while Haseul has her back facing her (as expected, Soo&Soul have this planned beforehand, 'I'm sure Haseul would be more comfortable with you!').  _Satans_. Jungeun can mentally point three different reasons on why she is having trouble sleeping:

  
1\. The environment is too eerie and the base beneath her makes her miss her bed more than anything  
2\. The jumble of thoughts swirling in her mind (her brain enjoys overworking itself)  
3\. The petite figure breathing beside her, so close yet so far away from her

"Lippie?" Jungeun gasps at the sudden voice, putting a hand over her startled heart.

She glances to her left, barely making the shape out but she can see Haseul already shifting to her back. "Yeah?"

"I thought you're asleep..." Haseul whispers.

"I... can't..." Jungeun breathes out. "Why are you still awake?" It's funny to think that it's very unlikely for the other two to hear them, yet they are whispering like they were being held hostage.

"Same, can't sleep too." Jungeun can hear Haseul frowning through that. "It's a bit too cold."

That answer causes Jungeun to blink rapidly, mouth slightly ajar. "Oh. Uh... do you want my blanket?" She offers.

"Silly." Haseul giggles. "I don't want to find you frozen tomorrow morning." The girl jabs on her arm with her elbow.

"Ow." Jungeun rubs on the spot exaggeratingly. "Then how you gonna sleep?" She sighs. "I'm sorry for making you join this, I should've known better than to trust those brats."

There's a ruffling noise on Haseul's side, Jungeun later finds out it's due to her turning to her side. "Nonsense, if anything I only have you to thank for. This is the most fun I've ever had off work."

"Right..." Jungeun trails off, side eyeing Haseul's shadow in the process. "Hey." A mad proposal suddenly dancing at the tip of her tongue and she gulps thickly. This is either going straight to her goal or heads completely south, she assess it in her brain over and over again.

"Hm?" Haseul sounds sleepy but not quite falling asleep yet.

"Don't get me wrong but I've been thinking that since it might be too cold for you... maybe you... uh... wanna come closer?" She feels her cheeks flushed right after that, her conscience is a tad bit late to the party.

Haseul remains silent and Jungeun is so ready to pretend that never happened and force herself to fake sleep (and run away during wee hours, move to another country and change her name). But maybe it's just Haseul's slow gears. "Closer where?" She sounds genuinely clueless.

Jungeun ignores the rib-shattering pounding of her heart, her only intention is to help Haseul sleeps comfortably and she is going to focus on that. "Closer to..."  _Oh dear lord_. "... me?"

The still air around her feels suffocating with every second that passes. Jungeun thinks that she may have crossed the line this time and potentially causes them to move backward in their little mending pursuit. The moment Haseul actually,  _literally_ , scoots over to her and reaches out to turn her arm into a makeshift pillow ( _again_ , maybe Jungeun needs to start charging that) is the moment Jungeun ceases her breathing. The smaller girl snuggles just below Jungeun's jawline (she momentarily regrets passing on building her arm muscles) before wrapping Jungeun's torso in a loose hug. She hopes her tremble doesn't reach Haseul but that's very unrealistic given their current intimacy.

"You're warm. This works for me." Haseul's breath tickles her and her sanity is slowly slipping away, she is barely keeping it at the end of her fingertips. "Good night, Jungeun..."

Jungeun presses her eyelids as hard as she can, hearing that rolling off Haseul's tongue is making it so much harder for her to function properly. The ringing is coming back in full force and it takes up every ounce of Jungeun to hold it off. "Good night too, Haseul."

 

\----------

 

"A... funfair?" Jungeun deadpans.

"Correction, it's  _a funfair_!" Sooyoung throws her hands in the air, the joy is so contrasting from Jungeun.

"Wow, I've never quite been to one." The wide smile on Haseul's face is enough to tell that she is looking forward to this too.

"Not even one back in the US?" Jinsoul asks.

Haseul grins awkwardly. "No... I mostly went to school and spent the rest of my time... studying."

Jungeun snorts. "Nerd."

"Hey!" The shortest one punches Jungeun on her arm but it clearly has zero effect.

"And tiny." Jungeun's body is shaking from supressing the laughter threatening to leave her.

"Why are you so-" This time, she uses both of her fists to display her anger. "--mean to me."

Jungeun can't pinpoint the exact reason but last night did change something between them, or at least for her. Her napping instinct is woken up from holding Haseul close all night long and since that moment onwards, she might have turned keeping the girl happy and safe as her personal mission. "I'm just kidding." Jungeun traps Haseul's wrists in her hold to stop the assault before smiling with her eyes at the older one.

"Aw,  _cute_." Jinsoul breathes into her palms and Jungeun quickly flips back to her default persona, releasing Haseul gently.

"Yeah, that's cute and all but can it make the time wait for us? No right?" Sooyoung remarks playfully. "C'mon, hon. I want to hear you scream." She takes Jinsoul's hand before tugging her along with her.

Jungeun can't hide her cringe. "The heck. Ugh, gross." She let out a major eyeroll. "Sorry you had to bear with... all that." She gestures at the couple.

"They are so cute together." Her voice is so quiet and... dreamy? Jungeun isn't sure. But then, Haseul seems to snap out of her trance. "What are we waiting for?" The beam coming from the girl is almost blinding Jungeun.

Sweats are forming on her hand as it slightly trembles so Jungeun feigns tapping on her own thigh to make it less visible. Haseul's fingers are a few inches away from hers and Jungeun for only God knows why, is fighting off her inner desire to lace them together.  _For heaven's sake, this is all Soo &Soul's PDA fault_. "Yeah, let's go."  _Fuck it_. She is so close in fulfilling her desire when Haseul starts walking away and Jungeun proceeds to bring her hand all the way up to lightly dab on her hair instead.  _This sense of rejection_.

Jungeun cranes her neck as she watches the roller coaster moving from highs to lows in full speed. She shudders at the thought of being in that ride.

"This is pretty intense for a small scale funfair." Sooyoung points out. "Shall be our finale yeah?"

Jungeun snickers. "We? Nah, I'll pass."

"Why? It's gonna be so much fun tho." Sooyoung widens her eyes.

Jungeun scratches her nose. "I'm not a fan of rides."

"More like, 'I'm scared of rides'. Isn't that it, sweetie?" Jinsoul chuckles.

"Wha-- don't come up with stories now, Soul." Jungeun sends her a look.

"You scared of rides?" Haseul chimes in and Jungeun honestly wanted to run away from here already.

"No, don't listen to her. I'm perfectly good at rides, especially roller coasters." Jungeun nods firmly, basically trying to hypnotize herself into believing that.

"So,  _we_  can get on it later yeah?" Sooyoung bounces about on her feet.

Jungeun clears her throat. "S- sure."

"Oof, the consequence is going to be too hot for you to handle sweetie." Jinsoul gasps.

Jungeun just glares at her sister. "I don't know what nonsense you're on." Haseul's quiet giggle is enough to distract Jungeun from her worry.

Quite different from what she had initially expected, their little venture at the funfair is the exact reflection of its name,  _fun_. Her childhood memories of running around with Jinsoul and hopping from one booth to another to try the different games offered comes flooding into her mind all at once. There's no such thing as anxiety or worry back then, only joy and excitement for young Jungeun even with her awareness to her unfateful past. Her training period added by the subtle broken household led Jungeun into a completely different life. She turned mature fast, sure, but she also lost her way with living brightly and carefree. Jungeun let herself being trapped in an invisible glass, limiting it in order to stay secured on her idea of _the_ correct path. Leading her life according to the idol's textbook may or may have not make it easier for her. But for once after years, she feels like young Jungeun again. Only this time, Jinsoul has Sooyoung to take her hand instead of Jungeun and Jungeun has Haseul by her side. The barrier is still there but Jungeun tries her best to pay no mind to it.

"Nice, they have haunted house too." After having a lot of fun with different rides and games, Sooyoung leads them towards a creepy looking building next. "Who's in?"

Jinsoul raises her hand. "Me!"

The lack of response from the other two causes Sooyoung to look at them quizzically. "Y'all tapping out or...?"

Jungeun casts a concern glance at Haseul, she is fully aware of the latter's weak point. Figuring that Haseul will not speak up about it without feeling guilty, Jungeun steps forward in her place instead. "Yeah, you two go ahead. I'm honestly so... exhausted." She directs a look at the girl. "So, we gonna go chill somewhere first."

The doubt on their faces is so evident. "Weird flex but okay..." Sooyoung quirks an eyebrow. "Too bad Jungeun has a low stamina yeah? You two go  _chill_ and... hopefully it restores the bar instead of draining it more." She smirks to herself. Sooyoung is seriously asking for a smack on the face.

Jungeun ignores the heat scorching her cheeks, it's not helping that Haseul appears to be taken aback too. "You better make sure Soul gets out of there unscathed." She tries to divert the topic away.

"Oh, don't you worry." Her hands suddenly slither around Jinsoul's waist to bring her closer. "I won't let anything touch my princess." That (unsurprisingly) earns a coo from Jinsoul. The brunette only watches in horror as both Sooyoung and Jinsoul almost diminished the gap between them. Haseul is already looking away bashfully.

"Alright guys!" Jungeun shields her eyes from the view. "That's enough for now. Have fun in there." Instinctively, Jungeun takes Haseul's hand in hers before pulling her away from the scene.

They walk around for a couple of minutes, trying to find a good place to sit and pass the time. Jungeun is so immersed in her mission when she feels Haseul halting her steps. "Lippie."

She turns around at Haseul's voice. "Anything wrong?" Her eyes are trained on Haseul.

"No but... we already walk far enough." Haseul is staring at the ground.

"Oh, are you tired?" Jungeun scans around in panic. "I see a couple of benches next to that booth, we can rest there for a bit."

"It's not that..."  _Huh_ _?_ She can't understand why Haseul looks so bothered.

Jungeun narrows her eyes. "Then what?"

"Uh..." Jungeun follows Haseul's line of vision and only then she (belatedly) realized her tight grip on Haseul's hand.

"Shoot, I'm sorry." Her reflex is as fast as the lightning, keeping her hand in the pocket of her hoodie in less than 0.1 second.

She swears she sees Haseul's cheeks turn into a rosy hue, but that's more likely her imagination than reality. "Don't be." Haseul says faintly as she turns her head away.

Jungeun thinks she has embarrassed herself more than enough today.  _Self control, where you at?_ Jungeun mindlessly kicks at nothing, so many confusing events are happening to her back to back. If there ever was a plug to her brain, she was more than ready to pull the cord off so she won't have to deal with the overworked gears problem. She is already in the right path to mend her friendship with Haseul, in fact they are doing it super well. But the more she believes that she has come to terms with that, the more unnecessary thinking she keeps on doing. _What is it with Jo Haseul? Who gives her this privilege? Why she keeps on raiding her mind 24/7?_ No answer is available to her and that's exactly what she fears about; living with uncertainty. Showing no sign of feelings suits her better, that's no doubt. So why can't she handle this the way she always did? _Geez, question after question. Fuck feelings._

They continue to walk towards the bench but Haseul stops in her tracks to point at one of booths. "Look, a giant red panda!"

Okay, now a giant panda to be added to her list? That scares Jungeun for a second before she spots the said  _panda_. She huffs in relief. "As if panda of a bag size isn't terrifying enough, there's a bigass one like that?" Jungeun narrows her eyes, cowering away in fear of that panda coming to life and attack her.

"What do you mean terrifying? It's cute!" Haseul rarely stomps her feet but whenever she does that, she looks no different than a child throwing tantrum.

"I know you have poor eyesight but this level is unacceptable." Jungeun shakes her head. "Get yourself a pair of new glasses soon okay?"

Haseul crosses her arms across her chest. "You're just jealous it's cuter than you."

A gasp escapes her as her eyes turn double their original size. "Now, now, _is it_?" She scoffs. "Look at me in the eye and tell me I'm no cuter than that animal."

Haseul comes closer and Jungeun tries not to laugh at the way the girl has to crane her neck to meet her dead in the eye. Surprisingly, she managed to hold Haseul's stare disregarding their approximity. "You have nothing on the adorable red pandas." It's a low whisper but it sure packs a lot of venom.

Jungeun stumbles back, putting a hand on her chest dramatically. "Ouch, that cut me deep." She glances at her palm. "Look, I'm bleeding."

The older girl rolls her eyes at her little act. "Your acting is terrible, Lippie." 

 _Dejavu?_ "So I've heard." But then Haseul just explodes into another fit of giggles that makes Jungeun pause everything to enjoy it. It doesn't last long though and Jungeun internally disappointed at that. She notices Haseul's subtle glance towards the stuffed animal and it tugs at her heart string. "You want that adorable _but_ terrifying panda huh?"

Haseul looks at her with incredulous eyes. "Nope, none of us will be able to carry that to the dorm without being caught for breaking the rule."

"It's been years, that rule of no stuffed toys bigger than 50 cm kinda has expired now." Jungeun exclaims confidently. "C'mon, let's get you this creepy animal to prove my point." Her steps are big. The eagerness to do it for Haseul is something so rare, she never done anything like this even for herself.

Jungeun learns afterwards that it's a reward for an ongoing special event. The participants need to record the highest score by shooting the rows of empty cans down with a toy gun before the hour ends. Sounds simple enough but Jungeun knows just how bad she is at games, this is like zero chance for her. She glances at her wristwatch, she has less than 20 minutes to make it happen. She already sparks the hope in Haseul (her mouth says no, but her eyes say yes) so there's no backing down from this. She is going to win that creepy thing for Haseul.

Jungeun is getting ready, inspecting the gun in her hands like a professional (reality is she has no idea what is she supposed to look at) when she overheard two girls talking at one end of the booth. "Relax, Yerimmie. 20 minutes and you will have it in your arms alright?" That has to be the girl with the current highest score that the booth worker told her about earlier.

"But this person looks like she can beat your score, Hye." Yerimmie? Yeah, that has to be her name, says. Jungeun smiles at the idea of oozing off such vibe.

"Yeah, she looks like she could murder someone too."  _Excuse me?_  The girl called Hye laughs at her own 'joke'. She thinks that's funny? "But, don't worry okay? No one can beat me, I'm the best around here." Jungeun scoffs. _News flash, Kim Jungeun is not from around here kiddo._

"Lip--" Haseul clears her throat. "I mean,  _Jungie_. What's taking you so long?"  _Wait, what?_

Jungeun dismisses the young girls to look at Haseul instead. "What did you just call me?" She tilts her head, a smile is threatening to break her face. Haseul did ask about Jinsoul's nickname for her while they were alone yesterday and Jungeun remembers how Haseul so confidently said that it's kind of unfitting for her. ' _Too cute for you_ 'but now she is using that on her? Talk about character development.

"It's a one time thing." The girl avoids her gaze.

"If I won this, you're gonna have to call me that. For a  _week_." It's selfish of her, she knows, but it's not her fault that it sounds so pleasing coming from Haseul.

"Goodbye, cute panda. Seems like I have no luck with you." Jungeun nudges on Haseul's shoulder at that.

Nine minutes and three rounds later, Jungeun still sees herself struggling to bring the cans down properly. She grits her teeth in annoyance. It's a freaking game, so why is it so freaking hard for her to nail? "Well, she's bad at this. Yikes." Jungeun hears the Hye girl's comment and it has successfully riles her up. A cold glare is sent towards the girl and it doesn't take that long for an eye contact to happen next. It's like she knows that Jungeun is frustrated so she makes silly faces to agitate her further.

"You--"

"What are you doing?" Haseul whispers right beside her ear, placing a hand to hold Jungeun by her arm.

"That girl has been making fun of me." She points at the teen sporting an apple hair look, voice whining.

"And you're mad at her for that?" Jungeun nods in a rapid pace. "She is practically a child... you're trying to fight a child." Haseul exclaims in disbelief. "Time to get out of here." She tries to pull her away but Jungeun stays rooted.

"Hey, mask lady!"  _Mask lady?_  Wow, the offense is beyond her. "Giving up already?"

"And let your undeserving ass to have that bigass panda? I don't think so." Jungeun has officially loses her sense. She stubbornly avoids Haseul's attempt to stop her. "I'm gonna show her how this is done." This is less about winning and more about her pride.  _Or more about Haseul?_

If anyone had witnessed how terrible Jungeun was a few minutes ago, they probably won't be able to believe their eyes now. Jungeun has singlehandedly knocks down every each of the can in one go without a hiccup. What makes it more mindblowing is for the fact that Jungeun did this out of pure rage. It's so evident from the way her shoulders are shaking after finishing the task off. She slams the gun on the counter before smirking while catching her breath.

"Now, hand over that creepy panda to her." Jungeun says, pointing at Haseul without sparing a glance. Only when she has fully regains her regular breathing that she turns around to see Haseul hugging on the stuffed animal the same size as her.

"You... did that." Haseul states, still very much stunned by the scene unfolded before her eyes.

Jungeun stands taller proudly. "Told you I'd win it-- for you." She clears her throat. 

"You are hella cool." Jungeun whips her head to the right to find Hye and Yerimmie's presence near them. Hye looks at her with twinkling eyes while Yerimmie appears to be slightly gloomy. "You need to teach me how to do that." Hye requests.

"Uh..." Jungeun glances at Haseul from the corner of her eyes. "I'm afraid I can't do that, kid."

"Why not?" Hye pouts which causes Jungeun to look away.

"Is your friend okay?" Haseul chimes in to save her from the pressure.

Hye looks over her shoulder to check on Yerimmie. "Oh, she is a bit down. She wanted that so much..." Hye takes the girl's hand in hers, the other free one gesturing at the toy in Haseul's hold.

Both Jungeun and Haseul shift their gaze towards the object in question. Jungeun then sees how Haseul is basically seeking for her permission through her eyes. There's no way she is going to let them have it after all that struggle she was put under.

But Haseul goes the extra length to reach for her hand and squeeze on it lightly. "Jungie..."  _Damnit_. That and Haseul's gaze deadly combination is enough to break her walls down.

"But you--"

"I don't mind." The older girl says firmly. "Plus, I believe she will take a better care of this." She sways their hands lightly, eyes smiling at Yerimmie.

"Alright, alright." Jungeun relentlessly gives in to Haseul's plead. "You can have this." Jungeun takes the reward to her hard work away from Haseul before handing it over to Yerimmie who instantly beams as bright as the morning sunshine.

"Yay, thank you!" The girl bounces about and weirdly it makes Jungeun feels warm and even prouder of herself.

"Both you and your girlfriend are so cool!" Hye comments out of nowhere.

"I'm not--"

"Yeah, aren't we?" Jungeun cuts her off, claiming Haseul's hand first this time around. Jungeun makes sure to keep their eye contact until Haseul surrenders and looks away bashfully.  _How cute_.

She keeps her hold on Haseul's hand all the way back to rejoin Jinsoul and Sooyoung. The couple looks at her weirdly but Jungeun just shrugs it off, sending a signal to say that it's not the time to discuss about this. Their finale unfortunately gets cancelled due to the rollercoaster being unavailable to make way for its weekly maintenance. Sooyoung almost goes on a rampage for that but a kiss on the cheek from Jinsoul is all that is needed to calm her down. Jungeun had to laugh.

They headed for the beach next despite Jungeun's protest. It's near dawn and beach is certainly not the best spot to be at this hour. Her anxiety is not subsiding at all the moment she sees the deserted beach, she can count how many people are there with one hand. Jinsoul reasons that's the ideal way to enjoy the beach and of course Sooyoung backs her up. Haseul seems to pay no mind too. Again, Jungeun had to laugh.

They stay at an open area, her sister is cuddling her girlfriend which short of nothing but a sore to Jungeun's eyes. Haseul is busying herself making random shapes on the sand when she suddenly turns around to look at Jungeun. "I'm gonna take a walk for a bit. I'll be right back."

"By yourself...?" Jungeun's question is left hanging in the air as Haseul takes off as soon as she announced her plan. Jungeun furrows her eyebrows, Haseul seems more reserved compared to when they were back at the funfair. She just stares at Haseul's shrinking figure.

She hears Sooyoung sighing next. "Seriously dude?"

Jungeun looks at her in confusion. "What?"

"Babe, no offense." Sooyoung squeezes Jinsoul's arm in advance. "But are you really this dumb, Jungeun?"

" _Excuse me?_ " Jungeun raises her voice at the question, clearly finds it offensive.

"Soo is asking the realest question, Jungie." Jinsoul looks at her lazily.

Her sister too?  _Wow_. "Wha--"

"You held her hand like it's the most precious thing in the world earlier and I bet your blinded eyes couldn't see how much it affects her. I know y'all agreed to get over it for that friendship bullshit but do you really think it's that easy for her?" Sooyoung spits out of frustration. "She is hurting, Kim Jungeun."

There's a hint of pity behind Jinsoul's eyes. "She deserves to know the truth, to be put out of the dark." Jinsoul says softly. "Deserves the right to live with a peaceful mind."

"Go after her, Jungeun. Step out of your hiding this one time." Sooyoung closes her eyes and gets into a relaxing posture. "You owe her the truth, that's the least you can do."

Jungeun's eyes are restless after that. It hits her hard that she feels her head pounding the next second. She gathers her thoughts before rising to her feet and sprints towards Haseul. Her vision is pulsating all the way there but she finds it back to normal the moment Haseul is within her reach. Jungeun stops just before colliding with the girl and chooses to follow her steps instead.

It takes Haseul almost 30 seconds to sense her presence and turns around to check. "How long have you been following me?"

Jungeun runs a hand through her messy brown hair, gasping for air still. "Since... over there?" She points at their previous spot.

Haseul laughs, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"

The younger girl drops her gaze towards the shore beneath her feet, droplets produced by the wave tickling her. "Uh, because letting you walk all alone doesn't sound like a good idea. Plus... this place looks scary yeah?" She motions towards their surrounding.

"Scary?" Haseul purses her lips. "I think it's beautiful..." The girl spins to her left, staring into the open ocean with longing eyes. "Isn't it?"

Jungeun copies her and fixes her gaze on the endless pool of salt water. The sky is painted in orange hue, creating a massive scale canvas against the blue. In that instance, Jungeun realizes just how small she is, probably just a speck of dust within the galaxy. "... It is..."

"After getting lost in such a chaotic life, but then you find yourself here... it's almost healing but aggravating at the same time hm?" Haseul speaks quietly, the tone behind it sends Jungeun into a maze.

She inhales the cold air. "Something's bothering you?" Jungeun pries carefully in fear of being too far ahead.

Haseul doesn't answer her instantly and instead, shudders her body lightly to chase the cold away. The wind is blowing against her black silky hair and Jungeun finds it hard to breathe. "I can't tell a bother from the piles anymore." She sighs. "Have you ever feel like... you're being ungrateful? Like, you start dreaming for something and you somehow, in a way, secure it in your tiny grasp. So, that's where it should end right?" Haseul shuts her eyes for a moment before setting her sight free again. "But then you find yourself craving for more. Only this time, it's out of your reach. It's too big of a dream and impossible but since it exists within you, it haunts you every second..."

Jungeun can feel the veins on her temples throbbing. She has been engaging herself in a lot of thinking that mostly leads her nowhere, only leaving her brain at the verge of haywire. "Not really? But isn't that how human works? Always strive to get better, to own more in possession. At least that's how I believe it is." A pinch on her nose bridge to help her ease the pulse. That noise is back to serve Jungeun a background music, except it's nowhere close toa music. "Honestly? I don't know what I'm talking about."

Haseul settles with a chuckle, still shivering from the cold wind hitting her figure. Jungeun's mind travels back to the memory of holding a certain fragile figure in between her arms, promise of keeping her warm (and safe) rooted deep within her. She let the image and emotion to swim freely, too exhausted to dive into another fruitless thinking session. Maybe it's time to let her heart to take control of her, to set the path for her this one time. Jungeun is shivering herself and it's shown in full display, from the way her hand moves in jitter to capture Haseul's delicate one (she could be trembling from the intense nerve too). She clasps it softly and she swears, to heaven or to anything that's up there, the sensation is equal to fitting one last piece of puzzle into its long awaiting slot. Pushing the worries away (that can wait), Jungeun extends her free hand to gently turns Haseul around and face her completely. Their shared gaze creates a tunnel exclusive to them, everything that Jungeun can see is a pair of spellbinding eyes despite the confusion written all over them.

"Haseul." Jungeun breathes out, the sound she creates makes it seem like she has no air down her lungs anymore. "Since I was a child, I've been through things that I wish I'd never have to face. Growing up, with no knowledge of my own origin, was overwhelming and impairing. It's even harder when the ones that I was trusted with, provided me with nothing but the bare minimum to survive. But maybe I still have a little bit of luck in me because there's Jinsoul, who cared for me like we shared the same blood, she's a constant reminder that life is not all that bad for me." Jungeun smiles but it's not quite there.

She feels Haseul returning her hold, funny how they are only touching at the base of their hands but the warmth spreads all over her. "I'm sorry, I wish life wasn't too harsh on you..." Her voice is below normal volume but it somehow cancels out the noise for Jungeun, one decibel at a time.

"Just my luck." She jokes. When Haseul motions her to continue through her eyes, Jungeun draws a sharp breath. "Well, it's so natural to look up to Jinsoul then, to follow her lead...  and her interests rubbed off on me. That's when I dared myself to have a dream, to be on stage. I was already midway through as an art major so my parents forced me to choose, which you can guess how it went... my relationship with them has never been the same since then. And then I underwent the trainee life that completely changed me, I became more calculative and careful with everything in order not to risk my dream. Sounds cool to have such dedication huh? But the sad truth is I'm just turning into a fearful person. It's pathetic..." She laughs dryly.

"Lippie, you're not pathe--"

"What did you call me?" Jungeun cuts her off.

"Lip--"

She shakes her head eagerly. "Try again."

Haseul stares at her quizzically and it only hits her a few seconds later. " _Jungie_."

That leads to a smile on Jungeun's face. "Perfect."

"That's not the point?" Haseul points out. "Are you--"

"There's something important that I need to tell you." She drops her gaze to the ground.  _Move forward, don't hesitate. She deserves to know._

"... And that is...?" The older girl tilts her head.

"I... oh God." The tremble of her hand worsen and that earns a puzzled look from Haseul. Jungeun huffs loudly.  _Now or never_. "I like you." _Finally_. "I've liked you since-- since the first time I--- I saw you." _The beautiful and mesmerizing you_. She stumbles between words, immediately sensing heat rising up to her cheeks. When Haseul stays muted, hand losing its grip on hers, Jungeun just had to look up to her.

Haseul eyes are distant and her mouth opens and closes slowly, as if trying to force something out of it. "Is this... a prank?" She draws her hand away, hiding it behind her petite frame. Haseul's shining brown orbs are now dim, shaking uncontrollably. "Because if it _is_ , it's not funny at all Lip."

Jungeun enters a state of confusion. "Wha- no, it's not! I swear to God it's the truth." She tries to reach for Haseul again but the girl is quick to take a step back.

The shine is back in her eyes, but this time it's due to the tears threatening to fall. "... Then... then why?" Her body shivers. "Why only now? Why are you acting like... like my feelings for you is wrong all this while?"

Jungeun's shoulders slump, her composure is slipping away. "Because I'm too much of a _coward_. I've been too afraid to go out of my way that I decided it's best to live according to the rules. The first moment I heard you, was the exact moment I believed that there's miracle on earth. I unknowingly developed a tiny admiration for you that eventually grew bigger." She is slowly drowning in different sort of emotions. "What happened to Soul frightened me and I made up my mind to push everything I felt for you away. But I don't think I can continue living in lies... For once I want to be reckless, I want to follow my heart and not my logic. Is it too late for me?" She meets Haseul's eyes.

Silence.

Jungeun takes a step forward. "Haseul, tell me, is it too late?"

Haseul shuts her eyes and purses her lips.

Another step towards Haseul, distance is almost nothing between them. "Is it, Haseul?" Jungeun breathes out, Haseul makes no effort to run anymore.

In that moment, Haseul's eyelids flutter open. There's no way for Jungeun to escape those pools. "It's  _not_." Her whisper is barely audible but loud enough to create an echo effect in Jungeun's ears. "It's not, Jungeun." She says in a firmer manner.

Jungeun takes no chance and slowly chases the gap between them away, pressing her lips against Haseul's softly. It's a brief one as she pulls away slightly, letting the air from their lungs to swirl around each other. It sends her into a dizzying euphoria and she salvages whatever she can in that moment. Haseul's gaze sneaks deeper into her soul this time, her orbs are darker Jungeun can almost see the whole universe presented in them.

She dives in again and takes Haseul's frame into her embrace, pulling her closer as much as she can. A pair of arms creeps upon her nape and lock themselves there, a sensation kicks in in her the next second. Jungeun regrets the whole time she had been burying her feelings 10 feets down, if she had known she would have lay it out in the open in a heartbeat for Jo Haseul. It's far from a rough kiss, just enough to convey every ounce of emotion that they couldn't say out loud for the world to hear. Haseul pulls her by the neck to deepen the kiss and Jungeun has no say to deny her heart. They part only when their restricted lungs scream for air, letting their foreheads to lean against one another in fear of losing too much from the newly gained proximity.

Jungeun puts a finger down Haseul's chin to bring her eyes level to hers. "For once, let's worry later... One time, let's jump on this _odd_ chance."

Haseul's gentle nod and tiny smile magicaly sends Jungeun into a state of serenity in a flash.  _Is this what heaven feels like?_ She agrees to that without further doubt.

It's an odd feeling but Jungeun only craves for more of it, and more she seeks for.

 

\----------

 

"Lippie! Have you seen Haseul? She's not in the room." Heejin's voice booms across the apartment and Jungeun rolls her eyes, she bets their neighbours can hear that too. Footsteps are heard after that, inching closer towards the couch she is resting on. "Have you gone deaf?" _Yup, only_ _Jeon Heejin_.

"Is your first instinct after coming back from break is 'to be loud'?" Jungeun spares no glance towards the girl, eyes fixed on the 50-inch mega flat screen in front of her.

"That's my normal talking volume, Lip-- wait a minute." Heejin halts her little nagging which finally garners Jungeun's attention. "What is this..." She whispers. "You guys!" Heejin summons the rest of her team members. "Come here! There's something odd going on!" Hopefully the walls are thick enough to contain her voice.

"Here we go." Jungeun sighs loudly.

In under 20 seconds, everyone is already crowding all around her. Every single one of them, from Kim Jiwoo, to Kim Hyunjin and all the way to Park Chaewon. "What goes on? Has Lippie finally commit the murder?" Jungeun internally wonders if both Heejin and Hyunjin share the same braincells.

"Murder who? Haseul? No!!" Jiwoo wails in a dramatic fashion. The long gone headache is slowly making its appearance.

Jungeun feels the figure resting in her arm stirs, one eye peels open to peek at her surrounding. "Can't you guys keep it down?" Her voice is hoarse from sleep, Jungeun just smiles subtly at that. "Someone pleaseeeee extend the break." She throws her head back before doing a light stretch.

"Just a week ago, you looked at us with eyes screaming for us to come home early." Heejin exclaims. "Back on track, y'all have anything to tell us?" She grips both her hands on her hips, trying to come off as intimidating. Jungeun can't help but to scoff.

"Tell what?" Haseul looks up to meet Heejin's eyes. "... Welcome home? Y'know we never practiced that." She shrugs lazily.

"No, Miss Jo. What I'm saying is... what's all this?" Heejin gestures at both her and Haseul.

"Yeah, why you two cuddling like this? You two never cuddle?" Jiwoo chimes in. "Only me and Heejin are allowed to do that." She adds.  _What kind of logic..._

"Says who?" Jungeun switches the television off, huffing pass her lips.

"It's written in LUNA's book of rules." Heejin opens her palm right in front of Jungeun's face.

"Unless both of you are an actual couple like Heejin and Jiwoo too." There's a 10 seconds of pause after that, the air around them sit still. It's long before Chaewon brings a hand to cup on her mouth slowly.

"Actual  _what_?" Haseul springs to her feet, clasping her waist in a strict stance. Jungeun frowns subtly at the sudden lost of contact.

"Oops..." Chaewon chuckles, smiling nervously.

"Park Chaewon, as usual you open your mouth for nothing." Hyunjin hisses before pulling the criminal away, eyes are as big as the plates.

Jungeun clicks her tongue, smirking to herself. "Now, who got an explanation to do?"

Haseul turns to look at her, a meaningful smile lights up her face. They share a quiet laugh after that. Despite no future is set on their little bond and no announcement will be made known to the world, Jungeun is content with what they have currently.

One official fact that Jungeun will always treasure; she loves Haseul ( _a little too much_ ).

_**\- FIN.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the subscriptions, kudos and supportive comments! You guys the best <3
> 
> Find me on twitter @lipseulite <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for the subscriptions, kudos and comments!


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